Personality Traits of a Profound Submissive

I found this a while back on another blog that I have since lost so sorry that I cannot give credit. Tell me what you think. Any to add? Remove? Which ones do you relate to?

Personality Traits of a profound submissive

The ways in which I spot a profound submissive who is not aware of what she is yet:

  • She is very sensitive to my moods, body language, and tone of voice. She is very sensitive to criticism.
  • She has a child-like presence.
  • She is eager to please me and eager to follow my suggestions.
  • She is sexually aroused/fascinated by my dominant presence.
  • She turns to me as an authority/advisor when she has personal questions.
  • She says something’s been missing in all her previous relationships.
  • She finds herself becoming anxious coping with everyday life on her own.
  • She says she feels as if she’s putting on a mask or role as an adult, an employee, a boss, a parent.
  • She’s a nurturer, often being a customer service agent, a nurse, a caregiver of some kind.
  • She takes on guilt that doesn’t belong to her; she tries to fix everyone’s problems.
  • She feels that often people are able to take advantage of her giving nature.
  • She admits to having put up powerful emotional barriers because people can hurt her so easily.
  • She finds it generally hard to trust people, but paradoxically wants very badly to trust me. Conversely, she may be much too trusting in a child-like way and keeps getting hurt.
  • She has always felt oddly out of place and “different” from others. She may even feel there is something wrong with her.
  • From a young age she has found pleasure in serving others; being a good hostess, doing as she’s told, remembering everyone’s birthdays, being everyone’s shoulder to cry on and everyone’s helpmate.
  • She finds it difficult to resist authority or aggressive behavior; she may have been picked on by bullies all her life.

46 thoughts on “Personality Traits of a Profound Submissive

  1. I like it, except for the one about putting on a mask as an adult. To me, that takes it from submissive to somebody who’s looking to avoid personal responsibility via their relationships with others. Sure, we all have that side that needs to be nurtured, and many of us love being coddled and taken care of- but personally, I’m proud of being a competent adult who manages to still maintain her inherent submissiveness that has been apparent since childhood. Not trying to sound judgey here! If anybody takes it in a different context, I’d love to hear another perspective. I may just be interpreting it differently.

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  2. I love your perspective. I am a take charge person who can lead on the job and thought there was something wrong witb me for feeling the way I did. The list was done as a way to recognize subs who don’t know they’re one. Perhaps the persective is that when you have unexpressed feelings you feel as though you have to hide behind a mask to cope?

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  3. Me. The best part of me is the submissive little girl within me who wants to play and trust you and love and be loved in return without fear or retribution. xo.

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  7. I would agree with all of these apart from the child like presence. I am quite a mother figure to others apart from my Dominant of course! Great post. I would like to re blog if that is ok. :)

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  8. Reblogged this on gemini and commented:
    ,,a great post from ”The submission of Elle”

    I would say I match most of these traits apart from being child-like. I am quite a mothering/nurturing type to family and friends, but obviously not to my Dominant :)

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  9. Pingback: Personality Traits of a profound submissive | MaríMar

  10. Very excellent post. Thank you. I am all over this list. I wonder, since this is all kind of new to me, do you (or others reading) have memories of childhood clues — fantasies about being taken, captured, even raped? Did you have attraction to fairytales… heroes rescuing damsels and that type of thing? I appreciate your sharing. :)

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    • Hi astinarose. Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, I remember as a child having fantasies. At first they were not sexual, but they were about being rescued and taken away to a place where I was treated well. At the time, there wasn’t turmoil in my house so I didn’t understand why I needed to be rescued. However, now that I look back on it, I had a great need to be cherished. I came from an Italian house with 4 brothers…I am the only girl. In my world, boys were the be-all-end-all. I never felt valued. I knew one day someone would take me away and he did just that 24 years ago! As a teen I had some rape fantasies. They were more of the kind where there was a gorgeous, sexy man who slowly seduced me over a long period of time, but then I would panic and resist his sexual advances. He would then begin to rape me, but I finally allowed him because of the intense pleasure he gave. I would then submit to him by letting him tie me up and sexually use me in all kinds of delicious ways.

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  12. Thank you so much Elle. I am learning so much from your wonderful blog. I must commend you for being not only honest and open here, but also for your incredible talent to write and express yourself in such a brilliant manner. You are very talented. I actually read many of your posts to my husband this weekend and he agreed that you are clearly very wise, and a talented artist. Thank you for the service you are doing to educate and inform on this important subject. Very interesting about your childhood, and the early fantasies. I can relate. I think the “need to be cherished” may be a very common theme for many sub-females. In addition to this I wanted to serve and delight men from a very early age (think “your wish is my command” type thing). Things are really starting to come together now, 25 years married, and trying to put the pieces together with my beloved, incredible man. All this time there was something off — he (nor I) fully understood the void.

    I will follow your posts, and hopefully learn a lot here. Thank you once again for your insight and willingness to share and inform. :)
    Astina

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    • My goodness, you have me blushing! Thank you for the complements from you and your husband and thank you for following my blog. There are so many of us out there who have been married 20+ years and are in the age range of 40ish to 50ish that are having the same epiphany, if you will. I started this blog as a way to put it all in perspective, which is so needed because there is the good, the bad, and the ugly out there in the D/s world. I’m so happy that anything I wrote has benefited you. It sounds like you’re on an incredible journey yourself. How long ago did you start a D/s dynamic?

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  13. You’re very welcome Ellle. Something started to shift for us (sexually) last summer … but it was unclear what was going on. It seemed he suddenly was ready to embrace his power which for a very long time was lying dormant. I initiated a different type of seduction scenario, and it must have woken up his” inner-dominant” :) ~ In any case – it wasn’t till last several weeks that I began exploring the D/s dynamic more thoroughly (not only sexually speaking but also the impact it has on relationship as a whole – as I believe this is HUGE for us – sex is only one component of the whole I believe). It’s all super interesting – and we will see where it goes, as the man I married is surprising me with his receptivity. He has traditionally been the epitome of the “good husband” – and although our sex-life was enjoyable physically for me – there was always a piece of the puzzle missing. This may be it. I would never have believed he would embrace this. He is a high-powered professional, and authoritative in every way in his work life, but with me — he hesitated to ‘take charge’ despite the fact that when we look back, I was unconsciously begging him to from the start. It’s a huge responsibility, I believe, and a man has to be pretty together and evolved to do this effectively and come from the right place… I expect this will be a very slow process for us. Thank you again for being willing to share through your blog. Happy to find you here :) Astina

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    • Thank you! While not all submissives have all of these traits, I believe there is a common thread among us…We respect authority, leadership, and strength, we like to serve, please, and nurture. When it’s the right dominant then it comes into focus.

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  14. This article for me is absolutely spot on! While reading it for the first time I felt like it was written specifiaclly for me. Coming from someone who is newly embracing her submissive side with love and acceptance it was comforting to read something so accurate for me. It reassured me with a feeling of ‘I belong here, in my submission’ and a sense of belonging that I have been searching for so long. Thank you for sharing this! I also would like to mention that I absolutely adore your blog! It is concise, informative, intelligent with a twist of wit and humor, an absolute pleasure to read but most of all I enjoy it because as I read your opinions and collaborative information I sense that it is coming from a sane woman who is comfortable in her relationship and submission. I have begun to look to you as a mentor and I would like to thank you for that!
    Carlie

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    • Carlie, you made me blush. I don’t know what else to say with such a compliment other than, thank you. I find that I really enjoy sharing what I learn as it helps me grow in my submission and as long as I hear that it helps others, I’ll keep blogging. It’s so nice to hear from newly awakened submissives and hear their stories. As my friend LK says on her blog, The Bedroom Submissive, we all need to give each other “sub-port.” I’d love to hear your story. You can email me at thesubmissionofelle@gmail.com.

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      • Carlie I agree she would be a great mentor along with the Bedroom Submissive. They both hold traits of Honesty,truthfulness,caring and they are very helpful to show a newb like me how a true submissive should be You will learn a lot by following their blogs…I know they also can be trouble makers with humor on the fun side.

        Lts ❤

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  15. If only I would have known that I could have the kind of sex that I’m having now twenty nine years ago. Your post hits the spot as usual Elle. Thanks for always being open and honest. I have learned so much from reading your blog. And I’m sure my Sir thanks you too, He he..Hugs!!

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