Keeping the D/s Dynamic When There’s No Time

I wake up very early Monday through Friday because my Husband/Dominant has to be at work at either 5:00 am or 5:30 am, depending on the day. Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away, I let him get up on his own and figure it all out for himself. The last thing I would do was get up to get him breakfast and prepare his lunch. He never asked me to do it and trust me, I wasn’t volunteering. Mind you, I had been suffering from insomnia for a few years and many days I wouldn’t fall asleep until 4 am on the couch. My pattern went like this: fall asleep about 10 pm, wake up at 11:30 pm and try in vain to fall back to sleep. Go downstairs at about 12:30 am and stare at the walls or the TV…try to read…cry…stare some more…cry some more…fall asleep at 4 am (maybe)…wake at 6 am…cry… and start getting everything ready for the kids to take them to school. He understood and never forced me to do anything for him because he always had my best interest at heart and knew I was absolutely wiped out. I always made sure everyone ate a home cooked lunch and dinner, but for breakfast. you were on your own unless it was the weekend.

Oh, how times have changed! Once I embraced my submissive self I started to reconsider all my ways. Based on the dynamic that my husband and I share, if I was to come to him and ask him to be my Dominant before showing any signs of submission, he wouldn’t have accepted. The change in our marriage needed to come from me in order to be taken seriously. So on my way to becoming his submissive, and before ever revealing myself to him and asking him if he would be my Dominant, I started to submit. Once I started to submit, I was able to sleep. I did not know there was a connection, but my heart and soul must have been craving it. I found peace in accepting who I was and what I wanted. The very act of submission increased my libido, to his delight. The increase in my libido gave me energy. More energy gave me the desire to take better care of myself. Taking better care of myself (emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and physically) made him more attracted to me, which gave me strength. The increase in strength gave me confidence. Confidence made me clearer and sharper. Do you see how this works?

It was a major act of voluntary submission to wake up when my husband woke so I could prepare everything for him for the day while he showered and got ready. I didn’t get it right the first week or so, but now I can do it in my sleep. I prepare his lunch the night before and in the morning I have it packed and ready along with any snacks he needs for the day. I lay out all his supplements. He eats the same thing everyday so I have that down to a science. He also has green tea every morning so I have his to-go cup ready, too. I have come to LOVE doing this for him. I try to anticipate his needs and see how I can better accommodate him. Sometimes I’m very successful and sometimes not so much. We have also established some morning rituals like him kissing me goodbye on my lips and then lifting my shirt and kissing my tits goodbye. Such a great start to the day!

He likes being taken care of and I enjoy taking care of him. Our morning routine sets us up for the day and reinforces our D/s bond. I look forward to this morning ritual because an entire day can go by without hearing a word from him. He may have back to back clients and barely any time to eat lunch and he cannot answer calls or texts while he is with a client. If there’s something urgent or an emergency I can call the front desk. When I hear the garage door open in the evening it is music to my ears.

Keeping your D/s strong and encouraged takes some work, but if you think it through creatively you may be surprised at how a little can go a long way. And remember, it doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s relationship. This is your life and each D/s relationship needs to develop in its own way and in its own time.



13 thoughts on “Keeping the D/s Dynamic When There’s No Time

  1. Amen! You get the foundations and understand what submission really means then you can build it anyway you wish… Variety is the greatest gift in life… You built it like a home… Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Do you have a demanding career? I remember those days and I don’t know if we would have been able to do this if I was still working the way I used to. We have kids and I now work part time at two jobs so it’s almost a full-time position together. One job is bookkeeping and admin, but the other takes work because I have to prepare weekly lesson plans. Time is always at a premium. Sir and I go to bed at the exact same time because we had to sync our internal clocks. Once he’s out the door I can spend time getting myself ready and together before the kids wake up. I try to get their lunches and breakfast ready while they’re still in bed. They’re pretty self-sufficient getting washed and dressed so I don’t have to worry there. The baby and toddler days were what gave me insomnia…I was so out of whack! Would I love to stay in bed a couple more hours? Hell, yeah! We have to do this otherwise it would be too easy for everything to evaporate and we would disconnect. It’s well worth what I put in and he’s always praising me for it.


      • Yes, I am a high school agriculture teacher and FFA advisor. Also my kids are 3 & 5. So a lot of my energy goes to kids, be it my own daughters or my students. H and I have established a routine at home that gives us time together in the evenings, but our mornings are chaos.


Tell Us What You Think

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s