I Love Being Intimidated by Dominant Men

How’s that for a title? The word intimidate may put off some, but for me, I like feeling timid (which is the very definition of intimidate) around a dominant man. Not all men make me feel this way, actually very few do, but when I come across one I just turn to jelly. I love this kind of man because I know exactly where I stand with him and there aren’t any games being played. These men aren’t necessarily the best looking around (although, that does help me) or the richest. These men have a certain quality to them that can make a submissive woman just swoon. Some of these men are very quiet and others are the life of the party, but they all share an attitude and presence that make other men (even those in extremely powerful positions) seem downright wishy-washy. A dominant man, while not always deliberately trying, seems to magnetically attract women. I really do enjoy being attracted to a man because it keeps me on my toes. I think the heat generated in a simple exchange is intoxicating and only means that we’re healthy human beings.

In my daily life I come across some very interesting men. The dads where my kids go to school are overwhelmingly doctors, lawyers, hedge fund managers, stock brokers, business owners, and CEOs – men who are “in control.” My daughter was even in kindergarten with the granddaughter of a billionaire. Honestly, none of these men make me feel intimidated. Don’t get me wrong, I’m interacting with these men out of their place of business and in situations where there is some equal footing due to the nature of the school and the very specific types of children accepted. I’m sure I would get intimidated by a couple of them if I saw them in their element. However, I’ve read several times that some very powerful men would rather be submissive sexually and that’s OK. Maybe that’s why I can’t feel any kind of intimidation from these men or maybe many of them are just being a perfect “modern man.”

Dominant man

I think it all goes back to my dad, the most intimidating and charismatic man I ever knew. He was a force to be reckoned with and he was larger than life. My dad set the example for me when it comes to dominant men. My husband has an aura like my dad’s and it’s probably why I fell in love with him at first site…that’s not true…I fell in love with his voice while we had a long-distance phone friendship for close to 6 months before we ever met (no internet back then). I love how my husband can walk into a room and people notice. I love that he has a cool vibe. I love how he enjoys the company of women and is a gentleman. I love knowing he can rip someone’s face off if he has to and at the same time can diffuse a heated exchange. I love how he can approach anyone at anytime and engage in conversation. He generates heat, makes me rip-roaring drunk, and turns me completely gelatinous.

So here and there I come across a man like my husband or my dad, or I read a blog that is most definitely written by my brand of intimidating dominant man, and I feel heat. I get intoxicated. I turn to jelly.

Men are like coffee



26 thoughts on “I Love Being Intimidated by Dominant Men

  1. I love men like that, too. Even though I don’t want to be dominated by them, I like how they make me feel. I had the pleasure of spending an evening at dinner with a Dom and his sub, and I felt safe and protected in his presence. I loved that feeling – although it made me miss my own SSir.


  2. Amen Sister! I’m very similar too, in that in my life there have been very few men who have managed to make me swoon. I’ve always worked with men in power positions and so quite frankly the characteristics that most women would find attractive in them, are nothing more than average to me.

    But when I’m in the presence of a true dominant man, I can feel it to my core. My normally aggressive, talking with my hands, confidant self suddenly disappears and is replaced with a very shy, soft talking, hands folded behind my back woman who’s raised temperature is clearly visible on her cheeks. Fuck, I love the feeling! 🙂



    • Hell yes and it sounds to me you’ve recently been blushed. I’m a pretty bold person when I’m working. I’ve run departments and I’ve worked with cops and can hold my own and get the job done. Yet with a true dominant man I am not my “hand talking” self (love that). I quiet down and feel flushed from head to toe. I also giggle. I normally laugh LOUDLY, but a dominant man will make me giggle for goodness sake. I love the aura and the vibe so freakin much! And damn when my husband is bringing his Dom I’m done. He could tell me to do ANYTHING and I would without hesitation.


      • I have been recently blushed. 🙂 Matter of fact just thinking about it makes me pink and hot all over again. 😀

        God, I can barely even squeak let alone giggle. I guess there are different stages but I tend to just shut down, get quiet, I feel my eyelids get heavy which is ironic because the rest of me is either floating or melting.

        I don’t know, whatever stage, whatever moment, whatever reaction comes out … All I know us I love it!!!!


    • Thank you for the reblog! When you meet a real dominant man, you know it and they don’t have to put on a power show either. They just are who they are and I find I’m highly attracted to that.


  3. OMG! Is it hot in here..lol, I giggle too, can’t help it. I am a very confident woman. But men like my husband and others that have that certain something, Oh yes you girls are right on point. Keep talkin Elle..


  4. Although I don’t share these same feelings, I really enjoyed reading this post! Those types of situations are rare (hello, antisocial) and they just make me…uncomfortable, and not in a thrilling way.


    • I don’t want to be dominated by these men, but I appreciate and prefer men to have that kind of confidence and self-awareness. Also, I need to know that if I’m in an emergency situation it won’t just be me that helps get everyone out of a buring building. Case in point…my exhusband who stood there while a man was being attacked in Grand Central Station. I leaped down the stairs and sprinted to help without reservation. There was a man who also jumped to it and we rescued the guy who turned out to be my brother’s best friend. My ex just stood there like an idiot.

      I know/have known some powerful men that are out for themselves (worked for a couple) and they couldn’t help you out of a wet paper bag. Nothing more off putting than a man like that. Some men have it and some don’t. I enjoy a man who can make me feel like everything is going to be OK.


  5. Thank you, Elle, for this post. Women give lip service to wanting a strong man, but when it comes down to it, they want a strong man as long as he fits within their rules.


  6. I like this post and I feel it as well but for me it bothered me because I didn’t want another man to make me feel submissive. It is with some of JK’s encouragement that I have let go a little bit and have learned to accept that my submissive response is natural and it doesn’t mean anything other than that is a natural reaction to a real Dominant man. 🙂
    Great post girl.


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