They Made Me Bend Over ;)

In a bedroom community, right off the highway to the north of New York City, sat an old-fashioned diner. This was the  kind of diner where the menu was thick and served the best burgers, and eggs, and pancakes, and cheesecake, and pie. It was the kind of diner that had regulars, truckers, families eating breakfast after church on Sundays, and teenagers out on a first date on a Saturday night. We had our business lunch guys and the afternoon moms with babies. We had people from everywhere in the world stopping by and there was barely a lull during the day. It was the kind of diner that would get packed, but the table turnover was fast so you didn’t have to wait that long. Tips were good (especially from the truckers) and we had a one-for-all, all-for-one attitude.

The manager was smart by hiring many hard-working college girls. He liked us pretty and sassy (no smart-mouths). He also liked tits and ass 🙂 I’ll never forget you, Tom. I’ll also never forget the Greek chef with the cleaver that used to tell us all off at the top of his lungs. This place had atmosphere and I fit right in. I worked at this diner for 1-1/2 years and it was one of the best jobs I’ve ever had. I had so much fun and my old friend, J, and her sister (from the horse farm) worked there as well. The only reason I left was because I had to move.

I was the waitress with a smile just for you. I was the waitress that remembered your name and that you were up for a promotion so I gave you a pep talk before your meeting and smiled brightly when you came back with the news. I was the waitress that winked at you from across the room because I knew you wanted your coffee refilled. I was the waitress that made it to your table in record time to take your order and brought it to your table just as quickly. I was the waitress that listened when you spoke and genuinely loved hearing about your life. I was the waitress that had fun with a group of guys that came in for some friendly banter and knew when to tone it down when one of them came in with his girlfriend. I was also the waitress that had the extra short skirt and just the right amount of cleavage that kept you coming back for a little peek when I bent over at the waist in just the right way to pick up that fork you accidentally dropped 3 times.

I am still that waitress who likes to bend over 😉 I enjoy serving and it shows in the kind of sub that I am. I love to make you feel good when you sit at my table and give you a memorable experience of good food, fun, and laughter.

Can I take you order?

Diner Waitress


Jill, Part 2

I am truly amazed at myself. The news came and stabbed me in the heart. I felt it down to my soul when the reality of it sunk in and I cried out in anguish in the parking lot of a crappy fast food chain.

I sat in my car with tears streaming down my cheeks and a lifeline buzzing on my phone. I momentarily glanced at faint scars on my wrists and ran my fingertips along them. My scars are my own personal Braille and tell the story of Jill and the aftermath of losing her.

Jill, the one I didn’t go with that day.

Jill, the one who was murdered in cold blood.

Jill, the first one I chose to kiss and who kissed me back.

Jill, the one whose lips tasted like lakeside sunshine and whose skin smelled like coco butter.

Jill, my friend.

As I thought of sweet Jill I had to smile because she would want me to live and to live well. I thought of new friends who showed such heartwarming kindness and shared words that uplifted. I thought of new beginnings and the opportunity to embrace change and allow it to mold and shape me. I thought of new scents and tastes and longed to reach out to them right through the phone.

I am amazed at myself because I made a choice to keep moving forward and in the making of that choice life revealed new possibilities. I drove away breathing deeply with a faint smile on my lips, knowing that I can handle whatever is thrown at me.  There are some dreams I can’t have now, but they were never mine to have in the first place. Dreams come to us based on wants and desires and then some need to fade away, but in their place new dreams appear. I have to let some dreams fade, but now that they’re gone I’m embracing the dreams I can have and I know they’ll be exactly what I need.

“You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need”

Renaissance Art and Roller Skating

I’m 12 years old and at a mall in a neighboring town having fun walking around with a group of friends. This is the place we go nearly every Saturday to window shop, buy candy, laugh, and, above all else, go roller skating. There are boys at the rink from other nearby towns and the goal was always to flirt with a cute guy so he’ll ask you to skate during “Couple’s Skate.”

Oh, what a thrill it was at the half hour (we anxiously watched the clock) when the lights went down and the disco ball sparkled (it was 1977, after all) and you heard the first few notes of a top 40 love song (If You Leave Me Now by Chicago was a personal fave of mine). Each boy already knew the girl he would choose as he just spent the last half hour following her around the rink (to look at her ass, no doubt).

I remember my heart beating wildly and a lump forming in my throat as the boy I had my eye on was going to choose me. He looked just like Scott Baio (don’t be a hater) in his denim jacket. I saw him coming toward me and I was ready – wobbly legs and all. My friends giggled and whispered as he quickly skated across the rink within a few feet of me. I took a breath and smiled as he came right up to the railing. He then uttered the magic words, “Do you want to skate with me?” Just as I was about to reply with a confident “YES” the blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl inches to my left eeked out a high-pitched giggly “Yeah.” He put his sweaty palm in hers and off they skated into young teen roller rink heaven. I was crushed. “Come back, Chachi,” I cried out in my head (Happy Days’ reference for some of you), but nope, he was off skating with a Miss Jordache jeans-fluffy pink angora sweater-Love’s Baby Soft-Cheryl Ladd (Charlie’s Angels reference) wanna-be. I, however, wore Charlie, faded Levis, a purple tube top (that I filled out quite nicely), and a gold lame crocheted cardigan. Back then I had wavy reddish brown hair that was down to my waist. I was just so freakin’ cool.

I did not look like Cheryl Ladd, Cheryl Tiegs, or Farrah Fawcet.

I looked something like this:

Angel 2

And this:

Angel 3

And this:

Angel 1

Only an hour earlier, in that same mall, there was man selling art reproductions. As I was walking by his kiosk he exclaimed in front of everyone (including Chachi, who happened to be nearby), “Miss, you have the face of an angel.” I was stunned. He went on to tell me that I have a Renaissance face. I was mortified! To tell me I have the face of one of Charlie’s Angels (I would have settled for Jaclyn Smith) would have made my insecure 12 year self beam with pride, but to tell me that I look very similar to Leonardo da Vinci’s Uriel, was a blow to my ego…big time! Thanks for telling me I have a 400-year old face, dude! He was gone the next week and I was totally relieved that I never had to deal with him again. I still saw Chachi from time to time, but he never asked me to skate. Some boys did and some boys didn’t.

I love how I look now because I don’t look like many around me and I like that a LOT! I don’t want to look like anyone else. It’s a good feeling to get to that point in your life where you celebrate your own uniqueness and you don’t feel any need to make comparisons.

Scott Baio (the real Chachi Arcola…yeah, I know my 70s TV trivia) went on to marry a blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman; I kinda knew he would.

Time To Wake Up (My Very First Spanking and More)

I did a four part series last year called Time to Wake Up that I wanted to share again. Rather than reblog it I made it into one continuous story.

The first part is a true retelling of my first spanking, which took place over 2-2 1/2 years ago. The rest of the story is also true, but I thought it would be fun to add it in after the retelling of my first spanking because, what the hell. The events that actually took place after my first spanking were something I wanted to keep private as I’m sure you all can understand. However, I’m happy to share a good ass fuck with you because I’m generous like that 😉


“Come here.”

 What? Who’s talking to me?

  “Come here, now.”

I slowly open my eyes. My mind still fuzzy with sleep so I can barely comprehend the command, yet somehow I manage to pull myself from underneath the comforter to crawl over to the edge of the bed where he is sitting. All I need to do is follow his voice.

“You fell asleep on me last night.”

Oh shit! How did that happen? The last thing I remember, he was going to spank me. How did I fall asleep? I was bouncing around in bed and waiting with anticipation. I remember him taking a long time to come back to our bedroom and then that’s it. Fuck!

“Take off your clothes.”

Oh, OK, now I’m awake. I feel a flurry in my stomach as I pull off my panties.

“Why is your camisole still on?”

Top, right…oops.  I quickly pull off my camisole and take a deep breath.

“Stand in front of me, close your eyes, and raise your arms above your head.”

I can feel his eyes traveling all over my body and drinking me in. I feel a flush of heat that starts at my cheeks and works its way down. I can feel myself getting wet and my nipples getting hard. I want to peek, but I don’t dare open my eyes. Although, I can’t help the smile that comes across my face as I know I meet with his approval. I hear him exhale and then shift on the bed.

“Stretch out across my lap and raise your ass in the air.”

I reach out, my eyes still closed, as he takes my hand and guides me. I crawl over his lap and lift my ass in the air, as instructed, while I rest on my elbows and knees.

 “I tried to wake you, but you were sound asleep. Did you slept well?”

“I’m sorry, Sir. Yes, I had a very good sleep, Sir.”

“I forgive you. Now, be a good girl and don’t move.”

I take a deep breath as he begins to slowly rub both cheeks of my bare ass in circles with his right hand. Oh, that feels sooo…Ouch! He smacks my right cheek with a good whack and then just as quickly I’m smacked on my left cheek. He slowly starts rubbing my ass again, but this time he begins playing with my tits with his left hand. Then the next set of smacks come down a little harder and at the same time he’s pinching my nipples. He begins a rhythm and pattern of smacking and pinching, caressing and rubbing, and in between running his fingers along my now very slick slit. The intensity builds and each set arouses me more, has me squirming and bucking more, and has me wanting so much more.

“Keep still,” he commands.

He’s relentless in his assault on my warm, red flesh and keeps pushing me further and further to the edge. I’m lost in sensation as each sting from his hand sends a shock-wave of pleasure through me. Each time he tests my wetness he plunges his fingers deep inside my dripping pussy in order to prepare me for what he has planned and to drive me wild with desire and lust. He gives momentary pauses to let me absorb, but he continues to push me onward.

He whispers close to my ear in his sultry deep voice,

“That’s my good girl. You’re so wet and ready for me.”

He bites down hard on my ass, first on the right and then on the left cheek. It’s almost my undoing and I release a guttural moan of ecstasy. He again plunges his fingers in me and starts to fuck me hard with his hand as he begins licking my hot ass and then continues licking all the way up my back to my right ear. His warm, steamy breath caresses my neck and I want to cum. I feel the pull of a strong wave of release as he nibbles on my earlobe, but then he abruptly pulls his fingers out and smacks my ass hard and pinches my tits with a heated fervor.

He pulls my legs apart so he has easy access and then starts spanking me over and over on my cunt and on my inner thighs with no pauses, no testing, and no backing down. I begin to shake and squirm wildly in his lap aching for release and just when I think I can’t take anymore and I start to go limp, he grabs a fistful of my hair and flips me around so I’m bent over the side of the bed. He pulls my hips up with his other hand and then uses that hand to grab me around my neck. He quickly plunges inside me and begins to fuck me fast, hard, and rough. 

He is at the perfect angle for his pleasure, but not for mine. I am serving him and I submit my body, my heart, and my mind to him as I was made for his pleasure. I long for a release and subtly and even unconsciously try and adjust myself so he hits my G-spot with all the delectable force he’s using in his non-stop thrusts. I love when he fucks me hard.

“Stay still,” He groans.

His command starts to give my pussy spasms. I want more – so much more – but this is for him and I give myself willingly. All of the sudden he slows down and comes to a complete stop. I gasp for air and my head feels slightly dizzy. He takes just a moment to breathe and then slowly pulls out of me.

“Don’t move,” he hisses.

I keep myself perfectly still with my head down. I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing.

I hear him open the dresser drawer and move some items and then I hear the drawer close. A moment later I feel the blindfold slide over my eyes. I feel the slow drip of lubrication drizzled onto my lower back and then trickle down my ass. He takes his hand and starts to rub a generous amount of lube between my cheeks and then right on my pucker. My breathing hitches and then I moan in anticipation as the realization of what he wants makes me shiver with want and desire.

“My girl likes that, does she? Baby, this isn’t all I’m going to do.”

My heart begins to pick up speed that I think it’s going to burst in my chest.

I hear the sound of him lubricating his hard cock.

“It’s OK, I’ve got you. Give me your right hand.”

I extend my hand to him and he puts a 7″ lubricated dildo in my hand. He asks me to extend out my left hand and he drizzles lube into my palm.

“Lube up the dildo like you’re stroking me.”

I slowly and seductively start stroking the dildo and treat it like it was my Sir’s hard shaft. I make sure it is thoroughly coated and ready.

“Good girl. Now I want you to fill yourself with it and then hold yourself up with your left hand.”

I do exactly as he tells me and the dildo stretches and fills me completely.

“Hold it there and don’t let it fall out.”

He then grabs me with both his hands on my hips as he inserts himself carefully into my ass.

“Breath, sweet girl.”

I follow his lead as he consumes my ass and I relax myself into each inch he sinks into me.

“Now I want you to fuck yourself with the dildo.”

I start to slowly move the dildo in and out. Each time I pull the dildo out, he pushes his cock in me and we begin an opposite in and out rhythm that starts to bring me to the edge. We start to move faster and harder and I’m so very close. I am filled completely and I begin to convulse.

“That’s my girl. Feel it. You’re going to cum so hard.”

And his words are my undoing. I cum hard and long and cry out as I feel my wetness flow. I can’t move my arms anymore and the dildo drops out of my hand. I sink down on my elbows as he continues to fuck my ass. He then pulls my hips back hard as he thrusts into me one last time. He shudders and releases himself into me and groans in ecstasy.

I collapse from his weight on my back and Coach falls forward onto me; the full length of his body presses on my back. He pulls himself up onto his arms and leans in to sweetly kiss me on my cheek. I turn my head toward him and he removes my blindfold. He gives me a very satisfied smile and his eyes are sparkling.

“You were so good, baby girl. You’re my kippy,” He croons.

I smile back at my him and feel completely sated. I’m awake now. I’m wide awake.


A Thought, A Plea, A Wish, A Song

It hasn’t always been easy, baby. We’ve had to fight some hard battles and there are a few left to fight. I admire your tenacity and your hard work and dedication. I know that working as hard as you do isn’t about you being a workaholic. Your hard work is based on necessity and an intense sense of responsibility and I support you. There are so many things we want to do and see, but life has taken another turn and now we have to, yet again, readjust, redo, rework, realign. It’s exhausting and I see your weariness, but I also see in your eyes how much you want to give to me. My respect for you is beyond measure. I know you’ll never give up on our dreams. You’re just a little too far away in thought right now and I ache.

I love when you’re feeling strong and relieved. I miss your playfulness. I miss your spontaneity. I miss the totality of you when you feel free. Those things haven’t gone away completely and I know you’re trying so hard to stay connected. I want to help you relieve your stress. Please take it all out on me and in me. Use me hard. Devour me. I can take it. I want to take it…for you…for me…for us.

I also know that right now you’d just like nothing more than to sleep for a week straight and not have to talk or deal with anyone or anything and that probably includes me. I know it would only be temporary so you can decompress and unwind; so you can gather your thoughts and plan a strategy. The thought doesn’t make me sad because I want that for you. I want whatever is going to help you be you. I wish I could give that to you and then at the end of that week of rest you come and get me and take me away with you and share with me all those things that needed to be thought.

Until then, take refuge in me.

This song has nothing to do with anything I wrote except for the fact that I know how much you love James and I just want to put a smile on your face. Don’t you love the Italian introduction? I thought it’s totally fitting for us. Italians love their sex machines 😉 I know I love mine. Can I be your Go-Go girl?


I haven’t forgotten you, Jill. After you left this world I started getting high with Carol and Julie after school. Then Julie moved away.

Why didn’t I go with you when you asked me? If I was there you wouldn’t have been murdered. He didn’t have a gun so we could have kicked his ass together. He was a little shit and we could have done it.

When I worked at the farm I used to go down to the stream where they found you. I used to daydream that I found you and brought you back to life. Sometimes I would daydream that I found him attacking you and I jumped him before he could rape you and smash your head on that rock. I could have saved your life.

Why did you hitchhike? We could have gotten a ride from my mom. Why did I say no when you asked me to go with you?

Kim and I got drunk on the beach a week later. Her mom blamed me for breaking into their liquor cabinet, but it was Kim. I wasn’t allowed to hang out with Kim after that and we had to sneak around to be friends all through high school. I got drunk because of you. Kim’s sister dates my younger brother now. She was the one who lied and told her mom I did it.

I was afraid of sex after finding out you were raped. I was called a tease and a bitch because I would always stop the boys. A boy lied about me and I was labeled as one of the biggest whores in school. I know you would have defended me. They would have listened to you.

I just found out the fucker might get out of jail this month, the month you died, 35 years ago, at 15.

I miss you.

Put The Dress On, Take It Off

The door opens unexpectedly. He’s home over an hour early. I wasn’t ready. I’m taken completely by surprise and I get flustered and confused. Why didn’t he call or text?

I run into the kitchen to get his dinner plated and served like I had been in there all along. I’m not in the dress he told me to be wearing. I’m just in a t-shirt and cutoffs, no bra, no panties, bare feet, hair a little messy, no makeup. I turn to greet him and he’s right there behind me. He kisses me lightly on my lips and puts his things down on the island and then sits at the table. He’s hungry. I put his plate on the table and stand next to him waiting for direction. He begins to eat so I sit. We chit chat. He’s just about finished and he tells me to go upstairs and put the dress on.

I dart up the stairs and I do a quick wash up, I brush out my hair. I slip the dress on without bra and panties. It’s form fitted and elegant. A light moss green with a light sheen and Asian inspired floral embroidery. A definite three season dress. V-neck, but not plunging, sleeveless. It shows off my curves perfectly. It’s the perfect dress for so many occasions and can easily go from day to evening.


I cannot get the zipper up past mid-back and the top hangs off my shoulders. I have to hold it up to keep it from slipping off.

I sit on the bed and wait. Do I kneel? He hasn’t told me to kneel. I wait some more. And a little more. I stretch out across the width of the bed and grab my Kindle to read. A few minutes later he casually walks in. He asks what I’m reading. I tell him and he asks me to read it to him as he sits on the edge of the bed next to my feet. He runs a finger lightly up the inside of my right leg. I squirm. He gets off the bed, grabs my ankles and pulls me across the bed toward him. I squeal.

“Stand up.” I stand.
“Turn around and face me.” I turn.
“Let go of the dress.” I let go.
“Kiss me.” I kiss him.

Before I know it he spins me around, puts his hand on the back of my neck and shoves my face and torso down on the bed. He holds me down with one hand and with his other hand he pulls my dress up to my waist exposing my bare ass.

“Push your ass in the air.” I lift it high.
“Good girl.” Mmmmmm.

He begins to spank me, caress me, probe me, pinch me. I float. Time stands still.

“Stand up.” I stand.
“Take it off.” I shimmy it down my hips and let it fall to the floor.
“Nice dress.” Uh huh.

A Look At The Real Me

I have my “audition” for my new job today. In the next 40-50 hours I have to put together a proposal for a city contract. The outcome is a make or break…job or no job. To say that I’m nervous is an understatement. They’re giving me a graphic artist and anything else I need, but fuck I just can’t screw this up. So much riding here. Maybe too much riding here. Our family needs this.

I’m sitting on the edge of my bed fresh from the shower…wet hair…towel wrapped around me…and all I want right now is to be tied up and used relentlessly. I want to go to my happy place. I want to go to that place where my mind shuts off. I want to be fucked for hours, flogged mercilessly, and have my mouth used over and over. I don’t need to receive any pleasure. I just want to be used.

I can’t fail at this. I just can’t. Too many tears rolling down my cheeks. I thought I was OK leading up to this, but I was obviously holding it all in. I tried to reach out to D yesterday, but she starts a new job today so I didn’t want to burden her. I tried to reach out to a couple of other people just to chat and laugh, but I know they’re busy because no one got back to me. Coach has already left for work. I haven’t felt like this in a long time. Why? I better suck this up fast.

Coach believes in me. Why am I doubting myself?