Trust – Day 15

“Don’t you turn your back on me and walk away when I’m speaking to you,” he said with a firm, matter of fact, and authoritative voice; his Dom voice. That cool voice that always makes me melt, but on this day it caught me by surprise.

Oh, fuck! I stopped on a dime, lowered my head, turned around and sat my ass back down. Meekly, and in almost a whisper, I responded with a contrite, “Sorry, Sir.” I was all ears.

Let me back up a bit. I was not being bratty or stubborn or bitchy. Coach had come home from work around 7:30, and after eating dinner, settled on the couch in the living room while I ushered the kids off to bed. Of course, hugs and kisses goodnight, last minute kid questions, a few call-outs for them to turn off their lights and go to sleep yada, yada, yada. Typical close of the day stuff.

We were just chatting, nothing major, and he was half looking at ESPN. I was juggling a few things while we were talking – a couple of texts, checking my email, quick look a recent blog posts, making a shopping list, and adding important dates and appointments to my calendar. The calendar additions sparked me to remember a paper I left on the island in the kitchen and I wanted to go get it so I could add the dates from it. Without thinking I jumped up and started to walk away. We have an open living room/kitchen/dining room with just a half partition wall between the kitchen and living room with the sink on the kitchen side looking out through large opening out to the living room. You can hear everything from anywhere because even though it’s open, the entire area isn’t that large. My normal mode is to move and talk and the kids are used to me when I’m doing this because like most moms, we can juggle multiple duties at once and hear every word they’re saying. BUT I WAS NOT TALKING TO THE KIDS. I should have behaved better. I know better…really, I do.

I know Coach wants my undivided attention when he’s speaking and he deserves that respect. The point I’m making is that he called me on it and THAT makes all the difference. I don’t want him to let me get away with crap like that. I don’t try to take advantage of his good will, but there are times I’m just not thinking. I will make the mistake every now and then, especially if my mind is all over the place, like it was a few nights ago. I didn’t get punished for this because he knows there are times I need help switching my brain into sub-mode. I love how he did it because it caught me dead in my tracks and I put down all the electronic gadgets and just listened and became what I needed to be for him in the moment.