Trust – Day 15

“Don’t you turn your back on me and walk away when I’m speaking to you,” he said with a firm, matter of fact, and authoritative voice; his Dom voice. That cool voice that always makes me melt, but on this day it caught me by surprise.

Oh, fuck! I stopped on a dime, lowered my head, turned around and sat my ass back down. Meekly, and in almost a whisper, I responded with a contrite, “Sorry, Sir.” I was all ears.

Let me back up a bit. I was not being bratty or stubborn or bitchy. Coach had come home from work around 7:30, and after eating dinner, settled on the couch in the living room while I ushered the kids off to bed. Of course, hugs and kisses goodnight, last minute kid questions, a few call-outs for them to turn off their lights and go to sleep yada, yada, yada. Typical close of the day stuff.

We were just chatting, nothing major, and he was half looking at ESPN. I was juggling a few things while we were talking – a couple of texts, checking my email, quick look a recent blog posts, making a shopping list, and adding important dates and appointments to my calendar. The calendar additions sparked me to remember a paper I left on the island in the kitchen and I wanted to go get it so I could add the dates from it. Without thinking I jumped up and started to walk away. We have an open living room/kitchen/dining room with just a half partition wall between the kitchen and living room with the sink on the kitchen side looking out through large opening out to the living room. You can hear everything from anywhere because even though it’s open, the entire area isn’t that large. My normal mode is to move and talk and the kids are used to me when I’m doing this because like most moms, we can juggle multiple duties at once and hear every word they’re saying. BUT I WAS NOT TALKING TO THE KIDS. I should have behaved better. I know better…really, I do.

I know Coach wants my undivided attention when he’s speaking and he deserves that respect. The point I’m making is that he called me on it and THAT makes all the difference. I don’t want him to let me get away with crap like that. I don’t try to take advantage of his good will, but there are times I’m just not thinking. I will make the mistake every now and then, especially if my mind is all over the place, like it was a few nights ago. I didn’t get punished for this because he knows there are times I need help switching my brain into sub-mode. I love how he did it because it caught me dead in my tracks and I put down all the electronic gadgets and just listened and became what I needed to be for him in the moment.

7 thoughts on “Trust – Day 15

  1. Hmmm….so were you sitting in our family room on Tuesday? With school starting and all the forms that need to filled out, work, laundry….it is so easy for day to day life get in the way. It’s amazing how a little gentle re-direction can bring you back to what’s important. Especially when we have so little alone – time together.

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    • School started last week and everything has been nonstop. I am so all or nothing that when I sit down to get things done I don’t want to stop until they’re done. Plus, he came home earlier than expected and I would have been done by the time he got home. I just love how he corrected me and we were able to continue talking and having our alone time.

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  2. I love hearing how you two work these things out. Domination is very… dominating. But that doesn’t mean it has to be mean. These are small differences I wasn’t aware of before.

    Thanks for sharing such an intimate part of your life.

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    • Thank you for reading this snippet of our lives.

      If a Dom becomes mean he is a bully and I’m so glad you can see that. It’s a common misconception that Doms are ugly brutes and sub are doormats. Actually, I’ve seen that dynamic in the church more than any other place and I’m looking at that through my former Pastor’s eyes. Many subs are very strong willed and that is why we need a Dom who can go deep with us.

      Coach knows what I need and when I need it. There are times he’ll “ask” me to sit down because I always have a choice and he wants me to want to obey, not be forced to obey. This time he knew that my head was in overdrive and only a firm command was going to stop me from going on the crazy train. You see, when I get on a roll with the “busy-ness” of life I can go way overboard. I needed to be stopped so I could settle for the night.

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  3. I think this is so important in any relationship. I have a tendency to “multi-task” as well and even though I can wash dishes, wipe down counters, sign school forms all while listening to B when he’s talking. If he has asked for my undivided attention, the he deserves that. It is the least and easiest thing I can do. His love language is quality time, so if he wants an undisturbed moment then I make every attempt to give that to him. It took me a long time to figure this out and I still need reminding from time to time. I’m just glad that now he tells me.

    xo

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