The Things I Don’t Always Share

I have an Endocrinologist appointment tomorrow. Something is very, very wrong and I’m frightened. Over the last two weeks I’ve been steadily bloating and I’m not talking 5 lbs of premenstrual bloat. I got on the scale this morning and it was another 5 lbs for a total of a whopping 15 lbs! This is not normal. My diet for the last month has been clean and I’ve been consistently working out, even getting much stronger. I’ve been doing my best to get enough sleep, too.

I woke up about two weeks ago feeling a little puffy. My first thought was that I would be getting my period soon. No worries. I got on the scale and I was up 3 lbs from the day before. Yup, premenstrual. Then a few days later I woke up really, really puffy and it showed on my face and I felt it in my fingers. At first I thought it would go away fairly quickly because these things can happen. I reduced my sodium intake and made sure I was getting enough potassium. I’ve also been drinking more than enough water, but I remained bloated. I got my period on Thursday and became even more bloated. A couple of day before my breasts became very swollen and firm. They felt like pregnancy boobs and that just made my imagination lose it. It was a relief to get my period. I’ve been moving and doing non-stop since Friday and you would think that given the fact I’ve eaten well that at least a half pound would come off, but nope, even more bloat.

Since early October I had a thyroid medication change and then two major emotional situations happened. Add to that some freezing cold weather, the holidays, a change in another health condition (caused by stress and now back under control), and more long hours for Coach so we’ve had limited play time the last two months and I am now at the end of my stress rope.

I’m going to beg my Endo to do more testing than just my TSH levels. I think the med change is backfiring on me. I’ve felt off since the end of October and now it’s manifesting physically. My emotions go up and down and my body isn’t handling stress well. I think my adrenals are taxed.

Managing my autoimmune disease (Hashimoto’s) is hard work and stress makes it even harder. What has me frightened is that I lost my singing voice again. Whenever I develop hot nodules on my thyroid it presses against my vocal cords and I become hoarse quickly and even if I’m not hoarse I can’t hit higher notes and I lose my vibrato. My tone is off and it pisses me off. When my voice is strong and clear I can belt it out strong and clear. I think I may be going through another thyroid storm, as it’s called. A thyroid storm is when you ping pong back and forth between hypo and hyper. NOT good.

I’ve asked Coach for a major scene. We are hopeful we can make that happen this week. We both need the release. I don’t know what my test results will show, but no matter what, I need the kind of release that only cuffs, rope, a spreader bar, a ball gag, and a flogger can bring.

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45 thoughts on “The Things I Don’t Always Share

  1. Breathe Elle, It’s all going to be alright. And I’m posting an angel note for you to make sure.. Thyroid can be tricky, your Endo will get it under control. Auto immune is frustrating. It can take control even when we are doing everything right. I think a night with Coach might just be what the doctor orders to get your mind off of things. Hugs!! 🙂

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  2. Bless you, Elle. I hope the doctors are able to get to the bottom of the issue and help you to feel better. And I hope you and Coach are able to make your “no-holds-barred” evening happen. There is nothing like that release. Hang in there, friend.

    All my best to you!
    -lj

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    • Thank you so very much, Lex, for the encouragement. Yes, that release is everything. I have a really good Endo that listens and I always come in prepared for an appointment. I’ve learned to advocate for my health and to seek out all options.

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  3. Sure sounds like meds to me! Oh, I hope you can get back to even and I REALLY hope you can get that release. Thyroid storms are awful. Please take care of yourself, I know you know all the right things to do. But throw in some Epsom or Mag Salt baths too. It will help with the stress AND the thyroid yuck. ❤

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    • I really think it’s the dose of meds too. It’s been a few years since I had a thyroid storm, but I know the feeling and it’s crappy.

      I’ve been out of Epsom salts so thank you for reminding me. I do my bath with 4 of cups of it as well as 1 cup baking soda, ginger, and peppermint oil. It releases the toxins. I’m going to the store in a little bit and I will get some more. XXOO

      Liked by 1 person

  4. With you on this — reverting back a little Catholic with a prayer on your behalf. (BTW,two of my worries passed away yesterday and last night – in peace, so I am sending notes out into the ether in my mind — an extra one is going for you.) After thyroid meds, perhaps check the heart for efficiency?

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  5. Elle, while I don’t often post I am an avid and loyal reader. I’m sending hugs and prayers your way. I too have struggled with health challenges this last year and understand your worry and stress. You are in good hands with Coach by your side…make sure you are breathing/relaxing as your mind wonders. Your in my thoughts and prayers

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  6. Hugs and prayers coming your way, lady. Do I know what it’s like to be out of sorts and not myself– and on a kink diet to boot. SUCKS!! I need to see an endocrinologist; between 3 rounds of steroids and starting synthroid I too can’t control the weight. Sexy time is low key, I so miss that intensity, and right now it’s not happening with a rib out of place. Hope you get some relief (medical and kink).

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    • This weight happened so fast that it’s not fat, but water. I’ll get this under control. Been down this road before. WP ate my comment in your blog! You are going through some challenges and I’m sending you prayers and thoughts of strength and healing. What’s the final word on your trip? Are you going? You really need to rest so you can heal completely. Don’t jeopardize your health!

      Liked by 1 person

      • We are going. Today hoping a chiro can reset the rib in place… (dx rib subluxation). I’m taking it easy, but still have to pack, ugh. All else fails, I’ve got pain meds and muscle relaxers, as the Ortho scoffed, “down a few of those before the safari ride.” I can’t wrap my head around canceling and re-planning this monstrosity of a trip… and feel like having lots of “sit time” on the plan in the next few days will help? Wishful thinking! Thanks for prayers!

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  7. You are in my thoughts. I had been thinking of you just the other day actually…
    I hope you find a solution soon, something that makes you feel good about and in yourself again.
    And I hope that if you get that major scene, you’ll be kind enough to share 😉
    Hugs!

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  8. Sending love and hugs to both you and Coach. The love, devotion and the strength you both have will allow you to overcome any challenge. Btw, I hope you had a great sexy scene.

    Be well and take care

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  9. Hey girl…. I know everything will be fine! You are always ontop of anything to do with your body, so I know you will actively seek out the answers to fix this. I hope things went well for you, and that Coach can give you soon everything you need! Hugs and prayers my friend….. Mynx

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    • I hate waiting for those tests! I remember the days of being nearly comatose on the couch because the exhaustion from Hashimoto’s was overwhelming for me. I can never go back to that. I listen to the slightest thing my body is saying because I have to. I’ll take all the hugs and prayers I can get, my friend.

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