amuse-bouche (uh-MYUZ-boosh) noun

Similar to but not to be confused with hors d’oeuvre. This is a tidbit, often tiny, served as a free extra to keep you happy while you are waiting for your first course to come. It gives you an idea of the chef’s approach to cooking and the restaurant’s attention to your appetite.

[From French, literally, “mouth amuser”, from amuser (to amuse) + bouche (mouth). It’s more informal twin, amuse-gueule, is the same thing, but may be considered vulgar in some circles. Gueule is the French term for an animal’s mouth, bouche for a human’s.]

Sex and play comes in many forms for us. There are times when we tenderly make love and we form a peaceful and spiritual connection that transcends. There are other times when sex is a fun-filled boisterous romp and we play and laugh and tickle and squeal. We have primal times when we’re licking and biting and tearing into each other like wild beasts and I’m flipped and tossed and practically torn to pieces. There are times when it’s all about his pleasure and he just bends me over and has his way with me. There are other times when it’s all about my pleasure and he makes me cum over and over and over. All of these amazing times are fairly spontaneous or one morphs into another. Time, energy, mood, and homelife all contribute to how and when so we’re forced to be flexible.

And then there is the planned scene. These are unique times for us because we find we don’t always have the opportunity to do that we want to do to the extent we want to do it. These times, especially due to our schedules and homelife, take planning. Our scenes are very physical and when Coach’s sadistic side has lined up with my masochistic side we are loud and we don’t want to feel like the clock is ticking away and we have to hurry things up. It’s been hard to plan the last few months so what I’ve been getting instead is an assortment of amuse-bouche. I get a taste of the Chef’s creativity and desire. My mouth is amused and I want more, so much more, but we never get to the full meal.

19 thoughts on “Amuse-bouche

  1. I like it because of the way you wrote his. Not because you are still waiting for the main meal. Amuses-bouche are fine, but really, they are not enough to get sustained in the long run!
    Hope you get your scene soon 🙂


  2. XO – you have made me smile. Don’t fill up on those tidbits, save room for the main course. It takes a little bit of extra time to cook, but it is well worth the wait. 😌


  3. Great post! We’ve had no time for a real scene and have been feeling like we are failures at this dynamic. Your post helped me to see that the “vanilla” with a bit of flavoring can still be pertinent and help us continue to grow.


    • I’m so glad my post helped you. I see this happen with a lot of couples who think that they have to stop doing anything considered vanilla, but you don’t. The D/s dynamic doesn’t have to have anything to do with sex or S&M. Dominance and submission is how you relate to one another and is mostly mental. Bondage and impact play and any other kind of kink or fetish is done only if you want to do it. Not doing any of those things or only being able to do them in frequently or sporadically does not make you any less of a D/s couple. There are couples who don’t like any kind of pain or don’t like to be tied up. There are D/s couples who don’t have any kind of sexual interaction at all. You make it what you want it to be based on who you are and your needs and limitations. There is no real formula.


  4. Pingback: BDSM Scene Preparation | The Submission of Elle

  5. Pingback: Sexy and BDSM in the Fifth Decade: Challenges… and Rewards | Desiring Discipline

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