Going Above and Beyond

We’ve all seen it. Whether it’s at work, school, a store, the DMV, or in your very own lazy family, there are people who do only the bare minimum. They don’t want to work too hard so they do just enough to get by. It reminds me of that movie Office Space when Peter was telling the two Bobs about his work day.

I’ve had jobs that bored the crap out of me and yet I still tried to do the best job I could. I can understand Peter because I also need a certain amount of motivation and a level of incentive. I’ve never been a bare minimum kind of gal because I suffer from the terrible affliction of trying to do too much in a short amount of time and I have to do it perfectly. I pushed myself way too hard during the holidays and got sick (Passover and Easter around here). I was doing OK that Monday, but I had a bunch of things to get done and by Tuesday I was down for the count. Not good and I was lovingly scolded by my caring friends and had to be lovingly healed up by my caring Dom. By the way, it wasn’t Coach who pushed me and he’s always getting me slow down and rest or do just one thing at a time.

I’ve gotten better over the last three years and I have to say that D/s has helped me tremendously. I am so much better at prioritizing and saying a big fat no to the outside world. My yeses are for my Dom. Before this lifestyle I so wanted to please and make everyone happy and comfortable that I volunteered like a woman possessed. The problem was that I didn’t have time to commit to my own husband. You have to know first that Coach isn’t a demanding man. There are certain things that have always been his absolutes and for all the rest he’s pretty easy going. I can look back and see that I took advantage of his relaxed personality, but it was all done without premeditation. I had a driving need to serve. As I got more involved in saying yes at work, at church, with friends and family, even Coach’s absolutes started getting dropped and over time it caused many, many problems. I didn’t have an off button. I would always say yes. Make lasagnas for 100? No problem. Help set up chairs for 500? I can handle that. Host a luncheon, dinner, brunch, pancake breakfast, picnic in the park??????? Yes! Sure! OK! Uh huh! Absolutely! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Every now and then I push too hard and do too much. I usually get into trouble when I don’t allow my Dom to guide, approve, and allow activities. He gives me a huge amount of room because he trusts my judgement and I am getting better and better at going to him much quicker, especially when I feel like I can’t do it all. Coach, while not a micro manager, does see the value in checking in with me more often and noticing those early subtle clues when I’m trying to make it all work and am having a hard time.

I’m still of the firm belief that a job worth doing is worth doing well. My main job is to serve my Dom and do the best job I can. Unlike Peter Gibbons, when I go above and beyond it’s noticed and I’m richly rewarded.

12 thoughts on “Going Above and Beyond

  1. First of all, high five for an Office Space reference in a post!! (Love, love, LOVE that movie)

    Second of all, I absolutely understand the need to do the best job I can in anything I do. Bare minimum just doesn’t cut it. And even if you’re not one to say yes to everything (I do it with my work and at home, but not in the outside world – hi, I’m a hermit), it’s easy to make yourself crazy.

    I know you were sick several days ago. I’m glad you’re feeling better now. ((HUGS))


    • BEST movie! It’s easy to take on a lot. I see needs and I try to fill them. I go between hemit and social butterfly. I’m an extroverted introvert. I’m healed up now and feign good. New thyroid med helped so much and I’m sleeping better.

      Liked by 1 person

      • ((HUGS)) I’m glad you’re back to yourself again.

        I can pretend to be extroverted, but it’s not my favorite. I’d much rather be a hermit and just let in the people I *really* like. 😀


  2. Yes, there has to be some sort of incentive, some sort of recognition. Not for every single thing, I can go by without being recognised for the work I do. But once in a while, there has to be some sort of recognition. Otherwise, you just give up.
    I know I did, eventually left that marriage of mine.
    I too tend to sign up for too many things. I always discount the work involved, so it makes me feel like it’s not much I’m actually signing up for. Except that all the little things add up and I tend to get overwhelmed.
    Nice post Elle!


  3. I think you’ve touched a nerve for many of us subs. We love to please, to serve. Idle hands are not ours, and we are perplexed at those who can relax. I totally agree with you on understanding priorities, and how much better it’s gotten since Sir Knight has gotten involved. God, it’s so good to know he’s watching out for me and that what he thinks is what matters most! Whether it was me frantically getting ready for the recent visit of my best friends (his caution to not over-do it and exhaust myself to the point I wouldn’t enjoy the time with them); to reassuring me that my Os weren’t coming as fast and furious as I wanted yesterday, “because you are tired…” SK also isn’t a demanding man, and it means so much to me that he’s stepped up and taken this strong-willed woman in hand… well, most of the time!


    • Such a balance to strike. I’m seeing so much more of the importance of being in sync when it comes to the busy-ness of life. Coach wants me to relax when he relaxes so time management is imperative. More and more we hit it hard when we have to and then chill out together. The holidays threw me off. Now I see what I have to do the next major holiday so I don’t crash.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes I love to serve too…and I gotta control that. In work contexts I end up doing ridiculous amounts….although for me it nowadays comes down to whether I respect those around and just above me….then I love to do it. Otherwise, I force myself to step back….and we need to do that sometimes too. Still, that is a funny clip and he does not have that problem….but we need to be a little cynical about work, or else the serving side of us can ruin our lives and those of our loved ones at home.


    • If I respect you and like you at work I will work my tail off. That being said, if I respect and like you it’s because you’ve proven yourself and you help me out, too. I am self-employed now so my motivation is entirely different. I make my own hours, but I have to hustle to get work. Not always easy and it can be feast and famine. All in all, it’s so much better than sitting in a cubicle and I have time for my Dom and my family. That is the best motivation of all!


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