Craving

Today began my third week at my new job. I am going through 12 weeks of intensive training. Couple the training and the demands of a new job in the tech industry with a new crazy family schedule (school dropoffs and pickups, after school activities, homework, laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning) and I am one loopy girl.

Coach has not been demanding at all. Coach has been more than understanding. Coach has been kind and gentle. Coach has been a supportive husband and it’s making me go out of my mind!

I know he means well. I know he wants me to find my pace and rhythm. I know he’s only thinking of me…..BUT, BUT, BUT…I need HIS pace and rhythm. I need him keeping me in line and making sure I follow through. I need him setting the tone because when I take charge of my life I’m like a runaway freight train. I’m full steam ahead. I don’t want that. We’ve been there and it doesn’t work for us.

Yesterday I knelt and explained. I went to him before any kind of spiral or plunge into the pit. I know what I need and so does he. He heard me. He understood. I am better.

I Got The Job!

I did my last inspection yesterday and today I finished my last day as a free-lance personal assistant. Companies have paid up and I can now settle into the three day weekend. I start my corporate job on Tuesday. As much as I’ve enjoyed building up a business I am very happy to not have to run around so much. Even though it was paying bills it was a lot of wear and tear on my body, mind, and car! Scrambling for jobs has also interferred with my writing. I miss sharing my thoughts and life on this blog. I feel at peace and I can finally have a regular schedule again.

I am very thrilled with the benefits a Fortune 50 Company can give me, one of which is tuition reimbursement. I will devote myself to learning all the tech and the workings of this company. My friend at the company who is a Hiring Manager says I would make an excellent Corporate Trainer. I’ve been assured by her and the managers I spoke with that in one year I can make my first move within the company. Finishing my degree will go a long way and I made a promise to my daughter that I will have my degree by her high school graduation.

My background has always been administrative so going into tech surprised my friends. Along the way I’ve picked up tech skills. I have an aptitude and once I’m shown something I retain it. I’ve learned by trial and error and by doing research and asking questions. My 12 weeks of training will be intense, but I’m ready for the challenge and the opportunities ahead.

And wouldn’t you know it, yesterday Coach was offered something big. We are both so excited. We’re taking some big steps and it feels so good.

Chemistry

I had already heard his voice numerous times over the phone and I had imagined the contours of his face and the feel of his skin. The reality of him was more than I could ever hope to dream, but when Coach and I saw each other for the very first time we had instant chemistry. It was like the same bolt of lightening struck the both of us and sent us down on our knees. We saw our future. We were connected profoundly from that moment on.

There have only been three other times that I have felt that glimmer with someone. Never as hard-core as what I felt for Coach, but there was something in the air. The third time happened just the other day.

I was downtown on business. I found a meter across the street from the building and as I was putting change in the meter a man riding a Ducati pulled up and parked next to me. He was tall, but not too tall, maybe 6’3″. He smiled and took off his helmet. He had a chiseled chin, a strong jaw, and high cheek bones. His eyes were blue and he had mocha colored skin. His hair was dark and a tossle of loose curls. His leather jacket was unzipped and he wore a tight grey t-shirt that showed the definition of his muscular chest. He was a totally crazy handsome man who had to be at least 15 years my junior.

I returned his smile and stared walking. His long strides caught him up with me before I was even half way through the crosswalk. I could feel his eyes burning into me. “Looks like we’re going to the same place.” I smiled and nodded. I hesitated to engage in any coversation with him. I know better.

We entered the building. I’m sure he would have opened the door for me had it not been for the man that was exiting who beat him to the punch. We had to immediately stop and go through security. He got in front of me. What happened to ladies first? And then he turned to me, looked me dead in the eyes, smiled a mischievous smile, unbuckled his belt and pulled it out through the loops of his jeans oh so slowly. Oh. My. God. It made me giggle. I blushed and lowered my eyes. Wow, nice touch.

He put all his items in the bin on the conveyor belt and security called him through. I did the same. He was gathering his things as I made my way through, and having considerably less than he, I scooped up my items and wished him a good day. I quickly got on the elevator and looked right at him as the doors closed.

Obviously there was something between us. It would have been too easy to engage. Had I not been with Coach it may have led to something. Instead of thunder rumbling in the distance and a quick flash of light in the sky it could have been the kind of lightening strike that starts a wildfire. My connection with Coach is much too strong to let something like this go anywhere other than an innocent flirtation.

I don’t believe each of us has only one person in the entire world we’re destined to be with. Chemistry is the easy part because it’s either there or isn’t. Love takes time. Love is deliberate. Love builds and you endeavor to develop it. Love takes work and commitment.

Keeping your relationship from going stagnant is no easy task. The relationship killer is complacency. You can’t take each other for granted.

Tonight I knelt and used my teeth to pull off Coach’s belt. He kissed me in such a way that my stomach did flip flops. This is our chemistry. This is our love.