I Don’t Act My Age

I’m a mature woman, although I know I don’t look my 50 years. I’ve earned the wisdom that comes with living half a century, which means I know enough to seek help, ask questions, and give whenever I can. Some say I am sophisticated and elegant, and even with my diminutive size, I can walk into a room, turn heads, and draw attention. I know how to dress, walk, and talk and feel no intimidation being around those far more achieved and advanced than I. I can hold my own. I can be calm, cool, and collected.

We watched The Age of Adaline a couple of weeks ago and Coach made many comparisons – deep, yet feminine voices, witty and flirtatious remarks that roll off the tongue. I am highly flattered that I’m seen that way. The sophistication is a mask, a shield. There is another side to me.

I am a kid. I’m awkward and weird. I snort when I laugh and I laugh much too loudly. I do voices and quote movie lines constantly. I make faces. If I have a good audience I can put on quite a show. I’m constantly singing. Get me around people that do the same and I become much too boisterous and can get way too silly. I’m also raunchy with the right people, always being careful enough to not step over the line (afterall, I am a lady…a-hem).

I have a hard time getting along with many people my own age and those a little older. However, I have a hoot with the elderly because they don’t care what anyone thinks of them. So many become old farts and are stuffy and boring. They don’t know how to let loose anymore. They act like their Iives are so much more important than everyone else’s.

I used to think this other side of me was immature, but I know better now. I think people spend their time trying to look and sound mature that they forget what maturity is actually all about. A mature person is responsible and dependable. A mature person does what’s needed and doesn’t try to slide by in life. They can work hard, but know when to let go. I learned that I can be mature and not lose my sense of humor and sense of wonder and enjoyment with the world.

People get weary and worn. People get defeated and deflated. Having to bear heavy burdens and weights can break the best them. But where there is a spark, a glimmer of hope you can break through the hardship and allow yourself to fully live. Age and life’s bitch-slaps can’t take my joy. I will always be the silly girl who laughs too loud.

If you need to find me I’ll be the one in killer heels singing karaoke and telling dirty jokes.