Every week at work we have a one-hour team meeting and two 15-minute team huddles. It was during one of these short team huddles that I said something that shocked our 10 member team and my supervisor. It was unavoidable because I could not allow the comment that was thrown at me like a grenade to explode at my feet.
We were discussing policies and procedures and handling irate customers. My Supervisor then stated that the way to handle those customers who insist on getting their way was to just nod our heads in agreement. A co-worker quickly interjected, “Like Elle’s husband does when she tells him what to do.”
Wow!
Everyone laughed in agreement. I gave pause and then calmly replied,
“I would never disrespect my husband in such a way and even more, my husband would never allow me to speak to him disrespectfully. I am a competent, take charge woman, but when have you ever heard me speak to anyone disrespectfully? For the record, my husband is the head of our household and he is a true leader. I fear no man and will stand up for myself wherever and whenever, even with my husband, but suggesting that I order him around like some kind of idiot and make him bend to my will is something that he’s going to have a good laugh at tonight, so thank you for that.”
Elvis has left the building.
Bam! Well done 🙂
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Thank you. I couldn’t let that one hang out there like that.
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I believe I heard a mic drop at the end of that one.
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Yes, you did. Can you believe the audacity?
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I’m proud of you…and (unfortunately) not surprised at what was said to you, either.
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The assumption that my husband is hen-pecked or pussy-whipped or whatever speaks more of what’s going on with them. They (my team is mostly men) are living that way so naturally they assume it’s that way with everyone.
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I think most people believe it’s that way…even when they aren’t living that life. I have a vanilla article I’m writing about being respectful to your partner and that the disrespect says more about you than the person you’re with. I’m pretty sure it’ll go over like a lead balloon, but I’ll say it anyway, lol.
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I bet there will be some that need to hear what you have to say and it will go straight to the heart.
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I hope so. I really, really do.
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Good work! Standing up for yourself is hard to do, much less when trying to be tactful about our lifestyle. I’ve almost done it myself lol
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It wasn’t an easy position to be in. I’ve sort of rehearsed this response for a time like this. It wasn’t an issue when I was a stay at home mom, but life is very different out there and you never know what someone is going to say.
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You did great!
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Perfect response. I bet they thought about it the rest of the day. 🙂
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Oh, I know they did. I certainly got some looks.
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Very good reply!
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Thank you so much. I had to be tactful.
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I hate comments like that…television shows like that…commercials like that… !! Good job for schooling them.
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It’s so prevalent. I can’t stand assumptions.
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That’s a damn good response. Your supervisor may have been going for a joke, but you gave them a strong, responsible reply. I agree with the commenter who said your team probably thought about what you said for the rest of the day.
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My Supervisor is young and newly married. Being married almost 27 years does have it’s advatages…wisdom!
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I applaud your retort to that insult. Some jokes are truly harmless, like those between friends about hairstyles or clothing choices. Others, like those between strangers and workmates are snide, cloaked in ‘haa haa only kidding’.
He will think twice before he opens his mouth again to something idiotic fall out.
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Don’t you just hate that only kidding crap? I’m sure he’ll think before he speaks.
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I detest the whole snarky “kidding but not really.” He will certainly think twice before he talks to you.
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Later on he asked if we fight and if our kids fight with each other. I thought that odd. People today really do believe that all strong women run the show in their households.
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Ok, that is just weird. Does that idiot harbor a secret attraction to you? Do you remind him of the girl who dumped him in high school?
Maybe that is why he is asking you such stupid questions (although he could just be stupid across-the-board.)
Gee whiz.
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Well, for one, he’s gay. I think I short-circuited him. But from what I know he has a very overbearing mother.
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Ok, it is obvious something is wrong on his end, to pick with you in such a way.
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I let these things roll off my back. His opinion is inconsequential.
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Wow Way to show that not every strong woman gets there by busting her husbands balls at home. Unless that’s his thing. 😉
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Exactly. I have to tell you, that kind of thinking s reed with me many years ago when I was first in Corporate America. I was too young to know how to handle it. The one thing about being 50 is that I will say what I need to say when I need to say it and know how to use a good measure of diplomacy.
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I’m not certain this qualifies as an ‘outing’ m’dear.
It reads to me like a statement of belief more akin to “I’m a Southern Baptist”, “I’m Hebrew” or ‘I’m a vegan, card holding supporter of PETA” putting your life into a cultural perspective.
Now that tastefully sexy, erotic picture from your blog . . . . .well that might start the ball rolling!
Gary
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Well that’s why I wrote sorta. They were a bit flabbergasted after my comment. They didn’t know what to say.
They will NEVER see the blog!!!
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BTW – Happy New Year!
How’s the herd? Healthy I hope
Gary
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And Happy New Year to you, too. We are all very well. What about you?
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Perfect response. Print it and have it framed!
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I really sbould! I just can’t let people think these things about me. It was also a snipe at Coach because of the assumption that he’s not a strong man.
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I wish I could think on my feet that well! So impressive!
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I have my moments. I learned through trial and error.
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Your response was perfect! i can hear the peals of laughter as you tell hubby… 💜
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He laughed, but then he got quiet and felt bad for me because I have to work with such ignorance. He’s proud of me and that means the world of me.
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Very nice! Wow, the power of submission… so attractive.
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They never saw it coming! I bet the men were envious of my husband wondering how we manage it. It goes against everything they’ve been conditioned to believe.
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*bread crumbs
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?
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Its something people do on fetlife, it means its really good writing I probably did it wrong
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Vanilla or D/s — it needed to be said. XO
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Brava!
This spoke to me because, once upon a time, that same quip could have been made about me. I would have laughed along as it would have resembled my life, though it would later trigger some unidentifiable sense of discontent.
Now, I am much happier, more fulfilled, and proud to honor my-Master/Head of Household with respect and am very protective of our dynamic. I would have the same response that you did, however jaw-dropping it would be.
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Years ago I wouldn’t have said anything and just let it slide. I would have laughed along. Now I know who I am and have no problem being me. I can handle whatever is thrown my way. So glad you can, too.
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Good for you, I hate the what appears to be increasing common place assumption that all husbands are somehow down trodden by their wives. It is such a stereotype and I applaud you for speaking out
Mollyxxx
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Thanks, Molly. I gave all the men who were listening a little food for thought. I wasn’t ginger to allow anyone to turn my us and I to a sterotype. The negative connotation would rest on me as much as him.
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