He’s Not a Tumblr Dom

They draw you in, don’t they? Those artful black and white memes with their carefully crafted words trying to make women swoon and drool.

They’re all an illusion.

These movie star handsome, wealthy, well-dressed, gift-giving, suave, worldly, French-speaking Doms don’t exist in the real world.

I am married to a former model and that’s about as sophisticated¬† as it gets. The majority of models don’t make that much and it’s a very short-lived career. He shot for some cool layouts way back when and he earned the whopping editorial rate of $75-$125 an hour. He does wear an suit well and is in great shape, but it’s his job to be in shape.


He can’t pronounce French (or Italian or Spanish), but his six years of German helps during Oktoberfest.

He doesn’t know a thing about wine and doesn’t pretend to, for that matter.

He really only traveled around the country and did a couple of mission tips to Haiti. When we finally go to Italy no doubt I’ll be doing the ordering.

He knows nothing when it comes to tech and only knows how to send emails, but he’s the go-to guy for all things algebra, calculus, geometey, and trigonometry. He’s good with science, too.

He’s not Mr. Fix-It. I’m the one with the tool skills, but he’ll help me with the housework or help a friend move.

He read what was required in high school and college and over the years has read biographies. He read a voluminous amount of children’s books to our kids. He won’t be picking up a classic or a bestseller anytime soon.

He’ll watch just about any movie with me, even the silly and sappy ones, but his favorites are Tombstone, Back To The Future, and Rocky.

He likes good food and will try different restaurants, but he’s just as happy going to a diner for breakfast. He prefers my cooking above all else.

He hates golf.

He tells the worst jokes.

He works long hours and gets dog-tired. He can get moody and a little withdrawn, but after a good night’s sleep he’s fine.

He’s honest and kind. If you lie to him or you’re an asshole you’re on the shit list. He won’t schmooze you.

He’s real and down to earth. He loves all of me. He’s not a glossy black and white photo. I don’t want him to be something that he’s not. I’ll take him as he is because that’s all I need.