Feeling Better

I’m sipping my coffee and checking emails. Over the last couple of days we’ve had a slew of new email inquiries regarding our side business. We have to get all our new registration information posted on our website TODAY. The sooner people register, the sooner we get paid, and that’s what it’s all about. Our team doubled in size over the summer and it looks like that may happen again. We’ll probably have to hire a part time coach. We’re also putting together an internship program for college graduates that used to participate in our sport, something our national association hasn’t done on local levels so we’re designing it and implementing it. 

Then there’s the master schedule we need to put together for school pick ups. It’s a huge undertaking because our kids will be at two different schools and each will have games and practices for the sports they’re playing this fall. I pick them up on Fridays, my sister in law will do Tuesdays and one other day, Coach will do one day, and then we have to find (and pay) someone for that 4th day. Coach is tying to figure out his schedule with clients to see which day he can do. People need to call back! Uhg!

The shining light is a job I got a lead on that really excites me. It’s a full time management position with a software company and I can work from home. It’s also twice the pay with 5 weeks vacation each year and tons of benefits. They pay 100% medical, dental, and vision for employee and family. There are some business trips and even a retreat once a year. They are creative and innovative and it’s right up my alley. If I get this I can be the one to pick up our kids every day. How freaking great would that be? I have to get everything submitted to them by tomorrow. They want an outline of my ideas since it’s a newly created division and position. It’s really more about the right fit because there’s a lot of collaboration with just the right amount of autonomy. It has ME written all over it.

That brings me to the point of this post. This last year has been one of discovery. Working full time has had its side effects in our D/s relationship. We’ve had a huge discovery through endless discussions that my work culture is mostly to blame for some struggles. Coach does not micro-manage me…never has, never will…but he does like to check in with me to make sure everything is the way he needs it to be. My job keeps me from answering texts and having discussions during the day. My hours and his schedule clash. I belong to my company during the day. Initially it wasn’t so bad, but as we’ve come to almost a year we find that the more I’m kept from him during the day the more he’s released even to the point that when I get home at night there really isn’t anything left for me to give and that keeps him from asking and taking. My health struggles have only exacerbated this. We’ve recognized it and are working on it and that’s half the battle.

But it’s not really a battle. It’s part of the ebb and flow of life. The D/s world hates change, but change is inevitable. Change is good because it makes you stronger and better, so long as you embrace it rather than fight against it. Yes, it feels so good to be in a D/s groove that works for you. I love consistency and reliability. I thrive in that atmosphere, but I am aware that it can also make things flat after a while. Growth, however, comes when life throws you that curve ball. You have to be adaptive and creative.

Maybe since we’ve been together so long and have had to endure so many changes we KNOW that “this, too, shall pass.” I am fully confident that we’ll.have a new and improved groove that brings more adventure and elevates our D/s into greater heights.

Up, up and away!