My Privilege

We’ve never been understood and we never will
It took us years to understand us
We don’t have the expectation to be understood anymore
I enjoy our cocoon, the one we slip into whenever we’re around anyone else
No one has gotten in and that’s fine by me
I only want to be understood by you
We put words out there and give people a glimpse
But that’s all it can ever be
This is our special life
It’s not anyone’s to understand and make sense of
It is my distinct privilege to know the real you and to love you

What Is A True Soul Mate?

image

Sir, you are my true soul mate. You speak the truth in love and fight for my heart and mind. Thank you for never giving up on me and for pointing out truth from error, real from fake, fantasy from reality, and deception from uprightness.

A Thought, A Plea, A Wish, A Song

It hasn’t always been easy, baby. We’ve had to fight some hard battles and there are a few left to fight. I admire your tenacity and your hard work and dedication. I know that working as hard as you do isn’t about you being a workaholic. Your hard work is based on necessity and an intense sense of responsibility and I support you. There are so many things we want to do and see, but life has taken another turn and now we have to, yet again, readjust, redo, rework, realign. It’s exhausting and I see your weariness, but I also see in your eyes how much you want to give to me. My respect for you is beyond measure. I know you’ll never give up on our dreams. You’re just a little too far away in thought right now and I ache.

I love when you’re feeling strong and relieved. I miss your playfulness. I miss your spontaneity. I miss the totality of you when you feel free. Those things haven’t gone away completely and I know you’re trying so hard to stay connected. I want to help you relieve your stress. Please take it all out on me and in me. Use me hard. Devour me. I can take it. I want to take it…for you…for me…for us.

I also know that right now you’d just like nothing more than to sleep for a week straight and not have to talk or deal with anyone or anything and that probably includes me. I know it would only be temporary so you can decompress and unwind; so you can gather your thoughts and plan a strategy. The thought doesn’t make me sad because I want that for you. I want whatever is going to help you be you. I wish I could give that to you and then at the end of that week of rest you come and get me and take me away with you and share with me all those things that needed to be thought.

Until then, take refuge in me.

This song has nothing to do with anything I wrote except for the fact that I know how much you love James and I just want to put a smile on your face. Don’t you love the Italian introduction? I thought it’s totally fitting for us. Italians love their sex machines 😉 I know I love mine. Can I be your Go-Go girl?

My Love, My Love

I hope you read this soon, my love
I hope you read this soon
Your words to me have taken root and the branches are now in bloom.

I hope you read this soon, my love
I hope you read this soon
Your words to me have forged our path and the obstacles have all been hewn.

I hope you read this soon, my love
I hope you read this soon
Your words to me have healed my soul and to your heart I am forever attuned.

Thank you for speaking such life giving words to me and always understanding me, wiping my tears with your kisses, and teaching me to fly. I love you forever and beyond, soul of my soul and heart of my heart.

Happy Anniversary

Brick by brick we kicked them down
Who’s that saying stay in your bounds?
We’ve risen to a higher ground

Now we’re living life as it should be
Can you believe our fantasies?
It’s always been just you and me

We’re doing it our way
We’re both here to stay
It’s a new day
They can’t take that away

Show me everything you see
I hope you know I’m here to please?
You always give just the right tease

We both have so much more to live
Do you know how much I want to give?
I’m your loving submissive

We’re doing it our way
We’re both here to stay
It’s a new day
They can’t take that away

Happy 25th Anniversary to my fucking hot as hell husband and most amazing Dominant. I love you, baby, and always will.

His Muscles02

Happy Birthday, Sir!

Today is my Sir’s 55th birthday. You would NEVER in a million years know that he is 55. Most think he is at least 20 years younger. There is not a wrinkle on his skin, because, you know what they say, “Black don’t crack.”

I wish he didn’t have to work today so we could stay home and play, but there’s always tonight!

Little Girl Lost

Each night, up until I was about 12, I would curl up in my father’s lap and he would stroke my hair and hum or softly sing me a song. I would rest my head on his shoulder or his chest and could easily spend over an hour each night in his lap enjoying his undivided attention. He would even run his finger lightly up and down my arm, which seemed to put me in a hypnotic trance. To this day, if that is done to me or if my hair is stroked, I instantly melt and become very calm and quiet. I was daddy’s little girl, his only daughter, and I knew without a doubt that I was loved and cherished. His nickname for me was Funny Face, from the Audrey Hepburn movie. I looked nothing like her, but he said I had the same twinkle in my eyes.

That girl in her father’s lap is who I really am and I have spent the last 35 years trying to get her back. I keep that girl hidden away because she is easily wounded. She gives her heart out, but will get seriously damaged if someone steps on it. She has been wearing the armor of a strong, tough, bold New York Italian girl who had to physically fight off people to survive. That armor was put on in order to defend herself against a mother and two brothers that set out to physically, emotionally, verbally, and mentally abuse her until she was 17 because she lost the protection of her father who was slowly dying over those years and would die instantly from a massive heart attack when she was 19 (he was 56). She hates the armor she bears because it is exhausting to wear and she really does not like to fight. She wants to be the girl with the twinkle in her eyes, the girl who is soft and gentle. The girl her daddy was proud of and adored.

I think I’m having the beginning of breakthrough that has been building for a couple of months. I’m told by those closest to me that I don’t have to hide anymore and I can just be me. I don’t exactly know how to do that and I need my Sir to help me. My submissive awakening was the beginning of finally letting that girl out. She closed herself off when she was just a young girl and she doesn’t know how to be an adult. Sir has loved me through all these years and has seen this girls many, many times, but even with him she retreats and then puts on the armor. Sir loves me in spite of the armor and will be with me to the end.

My greatest hurdle as a submissive is to finally put away my hard, bad-ass persona and be who I really am. It’s been coming out and there already has been a lot of healing, but there is so much more to do. Will I turn people off by what’s really there? Will I lose friends? My children know this girl because with them she does not hide and does the same things her father did with her. I cuddle with my children all the time and sing and hum those songs. My daughter is almost 12 and I don’t want her to retreat. Her daddy is very good to her and it melts my heart to see them together, but it also makes me sad that it stopped so early for me.

So now I endeavor to truly be me. I don’t know what it’s going to look like, but I just can’t live with myself anymore. I don’t like the hardness. I’m tired of defending myself. I know I have a husband that will hold my hand and guide me through it all. I just want to be me, my daddy’s Funny Face, and my Sir’s little kippy.

26 Years Ago, Today

26 years ago, today, we had our first date, we kissed for the first time, we had sex for the first time, and for the first time, I felt truly peaceful.

We were already friends, but 26 years ago we chose to be together for the rest of our lives. Our date lasted over 24 hours and early the next day you proposed. I felt in that moment that I was already your wife, your partner, your girl, your everything.

I love you, Sir. Thank you for loving me all these years. Thank you for all you do and all that you are to me and our children. You are the best decision I ever made.

Read about our first date here!

tumblr_mdlabgUH2C1qzsa3ho1_1280

Time To Wake Up, Parts 3 and 4

So sorry for the wait, peeps! The end of the kid’s school year brought me to my knees (and not in a good subbie way) and I was just dragging throughout the month of May and into June, but I haven’t forgotten! If you’ve forgotten, then you’ll want to re-read Part 1 and Part 2.

And now, Parts 3 & 4 combined for your reading pleasure, but really, the pleasure was all mine (and especially his).

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

He is at the perfect angle for his pleasure, but not for mine. I am serving him and I submit my body, my heart, and my mind to him as I was made for his pleasure. I long for a release and subtly and even unconsciously try and adjust myself so he hits my G-spot with all the delectable force he’s using in his non-stop thrusts. I love when he fucks me hard.

“Stay still,” He groans.

His command starts to give my pussy spasms. I want more – so much more – but this is for him and I give myself willingly. All of the sudden he slows down and comes to a complete stop. I gasp for air and my head feels slightly dizzy. He takes just a moment to breathe and then slowly pulls out of me.

“Don’t move,” he hisses.

I keep myself perfectly still with my head down. I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing.

I hear him open the dresser drawer and move some items and then I hear the drawer close. A moment later I feel the blindfold slide over my eyes. I feel the slow drip of lubrication drizzled onto my lower back and then trickle down my ass. He takes his hand and starts to rub a generous amount of lube between my cheeks and then right on my pucker. My breathing hitches and then I moan in anticipation as the realization of what he wants makes me shiver with want and desire.

“My girl likes that, does she? Baby, this isn’t all I’m going to do.”

My heart begins to pick up speed that I think it’s going to burst in my chest.

I hear the sound of him lubricating his hard cock.

“It’s OK, I’ve got you. Give me your right hand.”

I extend my hand to him and he puts a 7″ lubricated dildo in my hand. He asks me to extend out my left hand and he drizzles lube into my palm.

“Lube up the dildo like you’re stroking me.”

I slowly and seductively start stroking the dildo and treat it like it was my Sir’s hard shaft. I make sure it is thoroughly coated and ready.

“Good girl. Now I want you to fill yourself with it and then hold yourself up with your left hand.”

I do exactly as he tells me and the dildo stretches and fills me completely.

“Hold it there and don’t let it fall out.”

He then grabs me with both his hands on my hips as he inserts himself carefully into my ass.

“Breath, sweet girl.”

I follow his lead as he consumes my ass and I relax myself into each inch he sinks into me.

“Now I want you to fuck yourself with the dildo.”

I start to slowly move the dildo in and out. Each time I pull the dildo out, he pushes his cock in me and we begin an opposite in and out rhythm that starts to bring me to the edge. We start to move faster and harder and I’m so very close. I am filled completely and I begin to convulse.

“That’s my girl. Feel it. You’re going to cum so hard.”

And his words are my undoing. I cum hard and long and cry out as I feel my wetness flow. I can’t move my arms anymore and the dildo drops out of my hand. I sink down on my elbows as he continues to fuck my ass. He then pulls my hips back hard as he thrusts into me one last time. He shudders and releases himself into me and groans in ecstasy.

I collapse from his weight on my back and Sir falls forward onto me; the full length of his body presses on my back. He pulls himself up onto his arms and leans in to sweetly kiss me on my cheek. I turn my head toward him and he removes my blindfold. He gives me a very satisfied smile and his eyes are sparkling.

“You were so good, baby girl. You’re my kippy,” He croons.

I smile back at my Sir and feel completely sated. I’m awake now. I’m wide awake.

Fun With Fantasy

Last week we had a little fun. I was asked to dress like a secretary and I really got into my role. It looked a little something like this:

He wanted to know why I came to his office and I said that I wanted a raise. I didn’t have the necessary skills for a raise so I had to be taught some lessons in office etiquette and secretarial skills. I stayed in character. See what happens when you spend thousands of dollars going to a top acting school in New York instead of college? Money well spent!

This Saturday I have been asked to make a different appearance as a cowgirl. I’m still putting my costume together, but hopefully, if I find some chaps, it will look a little something like this:

If I can’t find chaps inexpensively (because I’m not ready to invest unless I know this gal will be paying him some more visits), I’ll just wear some Daisy-Dukes with a cut out crotch! I think I need to be hog-tied, don’t ‘cha think? Yeah, that’ll do it. Maybe some branding?

Any other ideas, guy and gals, for a little role-play fun? Any costume ideas? What do you like to do?