Trust – Day 30 – No Ordinary Love

30 days ago I was asked by Coach to completely trust him for a 30 day period, even if everything in me was screaming “hell no!” Why? Mainly to push me/Us to a new level. Did we accomplish our goal? Yes, I believe we did.

I’ve just deleted a very long post because when I finished all I saw was that I love this man with everything in me. The trust is there for both of us and we just need to be who we are no matter what is going on. He has recently done so much for me and for us and has put so many smiles on my face. We have adventures coming and so much to give each other. The best is yet to come.

I love you so much, Sir. You are everything to me. Thank you for everything you do. I am yours in every way.

 

I Needed to Hear His Voice

My car died today and I found myself stuck on the side of the road. You just know it’s not good when your car won’t shift and then this warning comes on:

TRANSMISSION HOT
ENGINE IDLE

I put on my hazard lights and pulled over to the safest place I could, but I was about to get on the highway so it was a very narrow shoulder.

My first call was to the dealership. The GM is one of Coach’s friends and he always takes care of us. It sounds like the same problem they took almost three weeks to repair about a year ago so hopefully they will get to the bottom if it. My second call was to the insurance company because we have emergency roadside assistance through them. They quickly set me up with a tow service. My third call was to the appointment I was going to miss so I could reschedule.

My last call was to Coach. Some of you may wonder why, as his submissive, I did not call him first. The answer to that is easy. I know how to take care of things and he expects me to do that. He’s at work and cannot just drop everything and race over to save me. Do I like being saved? Hell yes, of course I do. In my perfect world I would never have to worry about car repairs and emergency roadside assistance and all of that frustrating and annoying junk of life. However, we all have to deal with these things and I need to make him proud and do things as efficiently and as competently as I possible. I serve Him and do my best to make his day easier. He in turn builds me up, provides everything I need, gives me all of his love and affection, and helps me grow in areas where I am weak. We are a team.

What I needed more than anything was to hear was his voice. I needed to hear his reassurance that I did a good job in taking care of a problem. I needed to connect with him.

While I was on the phone with Coach I tried to put up the windows and then the car completely died. So I’ve got a major problem on our hands and I’m on the side of the road with semis driving by a little too close. The hazard lights stopped working because the car died all together. Coach told me to get out of the car and get into the safest place I could. I had a red shirt in the backseat and some orange cones in the trunk so I set the cones up around the car and put the t-shirt on the antenna just to keep people from slamming into my car and me.

The tow got there within 45 minutes and took me and my car to the dealership. The GM gave me a car to borrow and now we’ll wait and see. Coach completely takes over from here.

I’ve received several texts from him telling me he’s proud of how I handled everything. That makes all the difference in the world. Stressful? Yes. If you want to know the truth, I’m very proud of myself. I’ve had to handle all kinds of things in my life, but for a little while I had some insecurities because life was beating me up for too long. You lose your confidence after a while when it’s one mishap after another. Considering the summer that Coach and I had, we can make it through anything.

Please send good car karma my way.

Trust – Day 15

“Don’t you turn your back on me and walk away when I’m speaking to you,” he said with a firm, matter of fact, and authoritative voice; his Dom voice. That cool voice that always makes me melt, but on this day it caught me by surprise.

Oh, fuck! I stopped on a dime, lowered my head, turned around and sat my ass back down. Meekly, and in almost a whisper, I responded with a contrite, “Sorry, Sir.” I was all ears.

Let me back up a bit. I was not being bratty or stubborn or bitchy. Coach had come home from work around 7:30, and after eating dinner, settled on the couch in the living room while I ushered the kids off to bed. Of course, hugs and kisses goodnight, last minute kid questions, a few call-outs for them to turn off their lights and go to sleep yada, yada, yada. Typical close of the day stuff.

We were just chatting, nothing major, and he was half looking at ESPN. I was juggling a few things while we were talking – a couple of texts, checking my email, quick look a recent blog posts, making a shopping list, and adding important dates and appointments to my calendar. The calendar additions sparked me to remember a paper I left on the island in the kitchen and I wanted to go get it so I could add the dates from it. Without thinking I jumped up and started to walk away. We have an open living room/kitchen/dining room with just a half partition wall between the kitchen and living room with the sink on the kitchen side looking out through large opening out to the living room. You can hear everything from anywhere because even though it’s open, the entire area isn’t that large. My normal mode is to move and talk and the kids are used to me when I’m doing this because like most moms, we can juggle multiple duties at once and hear every word they’re saying. BUT I WAS NOT TALKING TO THE KIDS. I should have behaved better. I know better…really, I do.

I know Coach wants my undivided attention when he’s speaking and he deserves that respect. The point I’m making is that he called me on it and THAT makes all the difference. I don’t want him to let me get away with crap like that. I don’t try to take advantage of his good will, but there are times I’m just not thinking. I will make the mistake every now and then, especially if my mind is all over the place, like it was a few nights ago. I didn’t get punished for this because he knows there are times I need help switching my brain into sub-mode. I love how he did it because it caught me dead in my tracks and I put down all the electronic gadgets and just listened and became what I needed to be for him in the moment.