My Privilege

We’ve never been understood and we never will
It took us years to understand us
We don’t have the expectation to be understood anymore
I enjoy our cocoon, the one we slip into whenever we’re around anyone else
No one has gotten in and that’s fine by me
I only want to be understood by you
We put words out there and give people a glimpse
But that’s all it can ever be
This is our special life
It’s not anyone’s to understand and make sense of
It is my distinct privilege to know the real you and to love you

So Good. So Rare.

“I’m coming home at noon. I have a big break during the day and I don’t have to be back at work until five.”

“Really? What are we going to do with all that time?”

Long pause

“Just be ready.”

“Hey, kids, Daddy has a big break this afternoon and he and I have some work to do. He’s going to eat lunch as soon as he gets in the door and then he and I are going to go up into our room and work. We do not want to be disturbed. You guys can watch any movie you want.”

An hour later

“How’s my girl?”

Long, deep, passionate kiss

“I’m good, Sir. I’m so excited you’re here right now.”

“Let’s see how excited you are. Take your clothes off and kneel on the bed.”

“Good girl. Now get on all fours. I want to inspect you.”

Pinch. Smack, smack, smack, smack. Pinch, pinch, pinch, smack, smack, smack, smack, smack, bite, bite, bite, smack, smack, really hard bite.

“Scoot back to the edge, ass in the air, and rest your face on the bed. You’re not allowed to move.”

Mmmmmm

“That’s a beautiful site and it’s all mine.”

Yes, all yours, always

 

What Is A True Soul Mate?

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Sir, you are my true soul mate. You speak the truth in love and fight for my heart and mind. Thank you for never giving up on me and for pointing out truth from error, real from fake, fantasy from reality, and deception from uprightness.

Our New Puppy

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This is a photo of Emi with her sister. If we could have adopted her we would have.

Meet our new puppy, Emi. Emi is Japanese for beautiful blessing. She is a German Shepherd/Australian Shepherd mix and just turned eight weeks. She is a sweetheart and is so smart. Her combination makes her loyal, brave, protective, smart and super sweet. We are so in Iove with her.

It’s been five years since we had a dog and we’ve missed having one.

A Thought, A Plea, A Wish, A Song

It hasn’t always been easy, baby. We’ve had to fight some hard battles and there are a few left to fight. I admire your tenacity and your hard work and dedication. I know that working as hard as you do isn’t about you being a workaholic. Your hard work is based on necessity and an intense sense of responsibility and I support you. There are so many things we want to do and see, but life has taken another turn and now we have to, yet again, readjust, redo, rework, realign. It’s exhausting and I see your weariness, but I also see in your eyes how much you want to give to me. My respect for you is beyond measure. I know you’ll never give up on our dreams. You’re just a little too far away in thought right now and I ache.

I love when you’re feeling strong and relieved. I miss your playfulness. I miss your spontaneity. I miss the totality of you when you feel free. Those things haven’t gone away completely and I know you’re trying so hard to stay connected. I want to help you relieve your stress. Please take it all out on me and in me. Use me hard. Devour me. I can take it. I want to take it…for you…for me…for us.

I also know that right now you’d just like nothing more than to sleep for a week straight and not have to talk or deal with anyone or anything and that probably includes me. I know it would only be temporary so you can decompress and unwind; so you can gather your thoughts and plan a strategy. The thought doesn’t make me sad because I want that for you. I want whatever is going to help you be you. I wish I could give that to you and then at the end of that week of rest you come and get me and take me away with you and share with me all those things that needed to be thought.

Until then, take refuge in me.

This song has nothing to do with anything I wrote except for the fact that I know how much you love James and I just want to put a smile on your face. Don’t you love the Italian introduction? I thought it’s totally fitting for us. Italians love their sex machines 😉 I know I love mine. Can I be your Go-Go girl?

We Had Plans

We decided to take it easy on the 4th because the kids would be competing in a major athletic competition the next day and we didn’t want them worn out. Coach works so much anyway that when we’re having family time we tend to lay low so he can just focus on us and not have to deal with crowds and lines. We fish or go to the park or track. Many times we just hang out watching movies or have family dance competitions to Just Dance on Xbox (Coach can throw down). Other times we just catch up with each other and do all we can to make each other laugh. There are tickle wars and wrestling matches, cooking experiments and nerf gun battles. I will have you know I can rock Beyblade (if you have a boy10 and under you will understand what that is). Sometimes Coach issues major clean up orders and we all work as a team to get a household project done. As for our 4th of July plans it was to be a secluded fishing pond, a picnic blanket, and watching the fireworks that a swanky country club sets off, which happens to be the property adjacent to the pond. No one goes to this place and we have the best seats in the house.

But….

Our daughter’s cat got sick and she broke down in a puddle of tears and was worried beyond belief. He was OK in the morning, but as the day progressed poor Buddy wasn’t looking good. We were all worried. This cat came to us at a time when our daughter needed him and they are inseparable. We all love him. I thought Buddy would be alright, but we made the decison to stay home and keep our eyes in him. We had a carpet picnic instead and Coach taught our son how to attached lures to hooks. Daughter and I read (our default activity).

One of the most endearing things was watching Coach make periodic trips to check on Buddy. He’s an animal lover and has such a tender heart. He was so gentle and comforting with our daughter, too. A little while after we ate we saw that Buddy was looking and acting better. I had given him some stabilized oxygen because if it was bacterial this would kill it. Well, it must have been and he was perking up. We thought maybe we could go watch the fireworks afterall, but then it started to rain and even thiugh that was short-lived we saw that rain would be sporadic and would most likely fall right at our pond.. The kids were so happy that Buddy was doing better that they didn’t care. They got themselves ready for bed and we asleep by 8:30. They smiled in their sleep.

We knew we needed to be up at 4:00 am so we made our way to our bedroom. No, we did not have fireworks. Coach gave me a much needed massage instead and kissed me well. Neighborhood fireworks were on display from our bedroom window and as we settled into bed we talked of future plans, our love for each other and how blessed we are. We talked about sexy D/s things and our D/s goals and fantasies. We had a peaceful sleep.

Right now I am in the stands at this major competition. Coach is an official here today because he wants to make sure all the rules are followed for this most important event. Our kids our warming up and I am wearing my assistant coach’s hat.

Tonight we will have our fireworks, but today we are first and foremost dad and mom, supporting and cheering on our kids.

P.S. Buddy is doing just fine.

You’ve Got A Friend

I sang this song for a talent show when I was in middle school. I woke up hearing it. The words have always gripped me. I have a heavy heart today, but I’ll be fine. I know that my heart has an amazing capacity to love and it’s more inclusive than exclusive. I see that as a tremendous benefit and Coach said it’s a gift. I should never take that gift for granted.

To D and J…thank you! I so wish I could share more about me with you. I wish you could read this blog. You know I have it, but have never pushed to read it because you allow me the opportunity to say what I need to say into the Universe. I know you wouldn’t judge, but I would never risk anything coming between us. I love you both too much to do such a thing.

J, we’ve known each other since we were 13 (35 years!), when I met you on our first day of high school. We were instant friends. My nickname is Elle because of you. You get my warped humor, the humor I don’t show on this blog, and you just get me. We partied till we dropped, danced until dawn more times than I can count, laughed, cried, and supported each other all these years. I’m checking my lottery numbers because I promised I’d buy you a Jaguar one of these days and I always keep my promises.

D, your wisdom is beyond most people’s comprehension. We were instant friends from the moment I made that fateful call and you answered the phone. You are the older sister I never had. Our age difference means nothing to us. You always call at the exact moment of my pain or joy. How do you do that? How are you so tuned in to the extremes of my heart? Everyone is confused by our friendship because no one in a million years would expect us to be friends. We seem so opposite, but that’s because they only see the outside. On the inside, we’re cut from the same bolt of cloth. We’ve never had one single disagreement in the 13 years we’ve been friends. I am a better person when I’m with you. You bring out the very best in me. You are in a class all your own.

When you’re down and troubled
And you need some loving care
And nothin’, nnothin’ is goin’ right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come runnin’ to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there
You’ve got a friend

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you’ll hear me knockin’ at your door

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come runnin’, runnin, yeah, yeah,
to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yes I will

Now ain’t it good to know
that you’ve got a friend
When people can be so cold
They’ll hurt you, yes, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don’t you let them.

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come runnin, runnin’, yeah, yeah, yeah
to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yes I will
You’ve got a friend,
you’ve got a friend,
ain’t it good to know,
you’ve got a friend,
ain’t it good to know,
ain’t it good to know,
ain’t it good to know,
you’ve got a friend,
oh yeah now, you’ve got a friend,
yeah baby, you’ve got a friend,
oh yeah, you’ve got a friend.

Time

No more clocks! Break them all for they are all thieves and wicked task masters and they steal you away from me.

Stay in our bed. Don’t get up. Let me hear your heartbeat just a little longer while I’m wrapped in your arms with my head on your chest and you run your fingertips up and down my arm.

You slip out of bed and I slide over and hug your pillow while inhaling your scent and absorbing the warmth of your body lingering behind. Just another moment. Just a little bit more of you.

Give me more time.

50 Things Every Woman Should Know About Sex, but Doesn’t

Yes, finally, as promised, but better late than never.

If you missed the list for men you can find it here.

In case you’re wondering why everything on these two lists isn’t specifically about sex, it’s because sex is not just a physical act, it’s also mental, emotional, and even spiritual. I write from a D/s perspective so for those involved in D/s you’ll see how relatable these items are to your relationship, but even for many men and women of different relationships, the build up to great sex starts with your mind and then continues with your words and actions. Let me know what you think.

Enjoy ~Elle xxoo

  1. You should know that the quality of your sex life will affect your relationship and numerous other areas of your life
  2. You should know how to love him unconditionally
  3. You should know his inner, secret longing and desires
  4. You should know his priorities in life
  5. You should know how he evaluates you and your femininity
  6. You should know how to make him feel like a man
  7. You should know what makes him feel needed
  8. You should know that he craves to own you
  9. You should know that he desires to be served by you
  10. You should know that he wants to be respected by you
  11. You should know that he wants to be appreciated by you
  12. You should know that he wants to be admired by you
  13. You should know that he wants you to be proud of him
  14. You should know that he wants praise from you
  15. You should know that he want you to be as consistent as you expect him to be
  16. You should know how to read his facial expressions and body language
  17. You should know that he cannot read your mind
  18. You should know that he wants you to understand when to speak and when to listen
  19. You should know that he wants you to pay attention when he speaks
  20. You should know that he does not want to be compared to other men
  21. You should know that he wants to guard your heart, protect your emotions, defend your honor, and stand as a champion for your spiritual, mental, and physical well-being
  22. You should know that the confidence you exude is a source of direct pride and inspiration for him
  23. You should know that how you take care of yourself is also a source of direct pride and inspiration for him
  24. You should know that there is nothing more beautiful, captivating, attractive, and sensual to him than when you glow with an inner grace
  25. You should know that although he will do everything to make you happy, he wants you to find the happiness that comes from inside
  26. You should know what relaxes him
  27. You should know that he needs time and space to process and evaluate
  28. You should know how to intensify his dominance
  29. You should know how to obey his directives
  30. You should know that he wants you to be honest with him
  31. You should know that everyone is not having more or better sex than you
  32. You should know he wants you to be proactive and learn what works to transition from your everyday life to your D/s life
  33. You should know your clitoris is basically a tiny penis, but is mostly internal
  34. You should know your vagina is like a snowflake; each one is different and unique
  35. You should know that any shame, guilt, or fear you carry will keep you from enjoying pleasure
  36. You should know that he really enjoys pleasing you
  37. You should know that he loves it when you love your body
  38. You should know how to talk dirty
  39. You should know how to talk enticingly and seductively
  40. You should know how to tease his body and draw out his excitement
  41. You should know every erogenous zone on his body
  42. You should know how to use your mouth and tongue to drive him wild with pleasure
  43. You should know he doesn’t want you to hold anything back
  44. You should know where your G-spot is
  45. You should know how to heighten his sensations with small adjustments
  46. You should know how to get an insatiable sex drive
  47. You should know how to increase your sexual energy
  48. You should know how to control your orgasms
  49. You should know that he wants to watch you enjoy touching yourself
  50. You should know that there is more than one sexual prime, which can peak at various stages depending on factors such as emotional health, physical health, and current state of family life

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50 Things Every Man Should Know About Sex, but Doesn’t

I found this list accidentally a while back on a site called The 2-Hour Sex Prodigy and made some adjustments so as to use it as a tool for conversation. I have absolutely no idea if the 2-Hour Sex Prodigy system works and this is by no means an endorsement, but I’ll give them credit for the list since it’s the right thing to do.

The list gives a pretty concise look at what many of us want our Doms to aspire to. While some may be strong in some of these areas don’t take that as inability. I also don’t recommend running up to your Dom exclaiming, “Look, I have a list of what you’re supposed to be doing. Elle gave it to me.” I may just take your ass over my knee if I hear of that happening. DON’T read this list and judge your Dom because that’s not the purpose. We all have our things to work on and my advice is to work on yourself first and foremost, but I’m not unaware of the fact that we have submissive needs and would like our needs met.

What you can do is start writing down how you feel about many of these categories in a journal that your Dom can read. I started using an app called Chapter – Shared Journal For 2. My Sir can see everything I’ve written from his app and we can privately comment back and forth. It’s better than texting because you can password protect it (so nosey children don’t read your comments) and put everything in categories; you can even include photos.

So here’s the list…enjoy!

  1. You should know that the quality of your sex life will affect your relationship and numerous other areas of your life
  2. You should know how to love her unconditionally
  3. You should know her inner, secret, longings and desires
  4. You should know her priorities in life
  5. You should know how she evaluates you and your masculinity
  6. You should know how to unfold her femininity
  7. You should know how she craves to feel owned by you
  8. You should know how she craves to serve you
  9. You should know how she wants you to challenge her
  10. You should know how to read her facial expressions and body language
  11. You should know how to relax her
  12. You should know how to intensify her submissiveness
  13. You should know how to lead her directly and indirectly using your voice
  14. You should know how to take over her mind using your voice
  15. You should know how to mind fuck her using your voice
  16. You should know how to develop your disciplinarian trait
  17. You should know how to develop your encourager trait
  18. You should know how she wants you to protect her
  19. You should know how to develop your self-reliance trait
  20. You should know how to develop your resolution trait
  21. You should know how to develop your honor trait
  22. You should know how to develop your courage and bravery traits
  23. You should know how to develop your perseverance trait
  24. You should know how to be charismatic and charming
  25. You should know how she craves seduction and foreplay
  26. You should know how to handle her body and move her where you want her
  27. You should know how to talk dirty
  28. You should know how to talk enticingly and seductively
  29. You should know her secret, sexual confessions
  30. You should know how to bring out her wild, animalistic lust
  31. You should know how to encourage and reveal her dirty, naughty side
  32. You should know how to tease her body and draw out her excitement
  33. You should know every erogenous zone on her body and when to trigger it
  34. You should know how to use your mouth and tongue to drive her wild with pleasure
  35. You should know how to awaken her G-spot out of its sleep
  36. You should know how to take full control of her G-spot and make it tremble with pleasure
  37. You should know how to awaken and thrill her deep spots
  38. You should know how to excite her cervix
  39. You should know how to awaken her anal pleasure spot
  40. You should know how to make her feel your girth better
  41. You should know how to control her orgasmic contractions
  42. You should know how to heighten her sensations with small adjustments
  43. You should know how to tease her continuously at the brink of orgasm
  44. You should know how to stimulate her clitoris and how to draw it out
  45. You should know how to raise her post-orgasmic sensations so she orgasms again and again
  46. You should know how to heighten her sensations with pressure points
  47. You should know how to get an insatiable sex drive
  48. You should know how to increase your sexual energy
  49. You should know how to control your ejaculations and get stronger erections
  50. You should know how to take care of her after you’ve played

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Don’t worry, men, her list is coming…