Happy Birthday, Sir!

Today is my Sir’s 55th birthday. You would NEVER in a million years know that he is 55. Most think he is at least 20 years younger. There is not a wrinkle on his skin, because, you know what they say, “Black don’t crack.”

I wish he didn’t have to work today so we could stay home and play, but there’s always tonight!

My Husband Got All Dominant On His Ass!

Yesterday I got to see my husband in all his shining Dominate glory, but not in our bedroom or in our house – Sir was in full view of the public and man I am still turned on!

We started a youth organization and yesterday was our first practice. We went through all the proper channels of certifications, memberships, coaches criminal background checks, School District field usage permit, 3rd party insurance, registrations, advertising, business plan, etc. Our time, our track, our money, our business…period! The practice was going well and we only had 15 minutes left when along comes this guy with a few teenage athletes to work them out on our track. This man has a business doing this sort of thing because he drove a truck advertising what he does (I took pictures of his truck afterwards, just in case). The track is only for our athletes so while I was helping the kids at the long jump pit, my sexy-as-hell-Dominate husband walks on over to talk to this man. I could see the body language from across the field and I knew trouble was brewing. From what my Sir told me, he kept saying to the guy, “Excuse me…excuse me,” but the guy was purposely ignoring him. So Sir got in front of him and politely told him the situation and that he could use the track in 15 minutes. The guy then went ballistic and started screaming and yelling like a lunatic in my Sir’s face right in front of the children and their parents. Mind you, the kids ranged in age from 7-11 and our children were there, too. He was so insulted that he was asked to leave even knowing that he had no right to be there at that time. This man’s desperation caused him to throw out accusations and insults, even directing it at our kids because he didn’t feel that they were as worthy to be on the track as his athletes. He puffed himself up by saying to my Sir, “Who are you? I don’t even know who you are.” My Sir calmly said, “I’m the one who has the right to this track right now.” The guy didn’t want to see the legal proof.

If you’ve read this blog you would know that my first instinct was to pick up the big heavy rake that we use to smooth the sand in the long jump pit and race across the field to crack the guy in the head if I needed to. I actually heard the word, “STOP” as I turned and took two steps. Sir said later that if I had come over and the guy yelled at me we would have had a different outcome. If the guy had turned his rage at anyone else other than Sir we would have had a different outcome.

My Sir had everything under control, because unlike the over-bearing, loud-mouthed, blow-hard, crazy, domineering bully, my Sir was cool, calm, and in control. Sir handled the situation so beautifully, never raising his voice and speaking clearly and confidently. The man left to workout on the baseball diamond. Parents even commented on how impressed they were with how Sir handled it.

Seriously, can there be more of a turn-on to a submissive than seeing a true Dominate masterfully handling a hard situation without breaking a sweat? SO FUCKING SEXY!

FYI…I had to go back to the track because I thought I left something (we were in two different cars) and the dude was still on the baseball field, obviously knowing he was wrong, totally put in his place, and much too afraid to go back to the track.

It’s hard to match a photo to what took place yesterday, so here are some photos of what I want to do to/with my husband…My Sir, whom I love with all my heart and who has captured my heart in every way.

Here’s also a great blog that goes into some great points about Dominant vs Domineering

http://verusconditio.wordpress.com/2012/07/16/dominance-vs-domineering/

Photos courtesy of Pinterest.

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I’m a Rebel, Too!

Good morning, world! Make today your best day. Enjoy the sunshine if it’s shining. Enjoy your Sir if he’s with you. Enjoy your friends, your family, your life. Today is all that you can make it so make it a good one.

By the way, Sir and I have the house to ourselves for the first time in over a year. Gee, what will we do while the kids are at an overnight at a friend’s? Hmm, I got it…checkers! NOT! Party on, Garth. Party on, Wayne! Whoo Hoo, I’m in a feisty mood.

Song of Solomon, Chapter Eight

i want you as more than my Master. i want us to be together always. i want to kiss you in public. i want to be a wife and a submissive according to my mother’s instruction. We could drink from each other whenever we wished.

Ladies, my Sir put his left hand under my head and used his right hand to properly pleasure me. You must make sure you are properly aroused and ready.

Onlookers: There they are together and he is supporting her!

I have awakened you erotically as you knelt before me. Your mother taught you how to submit.

Set me as a seal upon your heart, Sir. Wrap me around your arm as men do according to the command to wrap  tefillin around their arm so that when the leather straps are unwound it leaves marks on the skin as a reminder.

my love for you is as strong as death for when death takes over it is irreversible. i am on fire for you and this fire cannot be quenched. A flood could overtake me and yet i would still burn with passion. i am filled with jealousy and do not want anyone else to have you. If a man were to offer me all of his wealth for my love i would utterly despise him.

We have a little sister at home who is not yet a woman and does not have breasts. She needs to grow and to learn to submit so that she does not choose her own way when the time comes for her to be given.

i am grown and have large, firm breasts.  i learned to submit and through your eyes i have found peace, Sir.

You have taught many submissives and have taught Dominants to care for each of them. Those submissives paid to learn their submission. i do not want that life.

i have my own special place with you, Sir, and i am worth more than all of those submissives. 

Dominants, the submissives are listening for your voice. Possess your submissives and lead them.

i give you all that i am, Sir, and ask you right now to possess all of me. 

Priorities in a D/s Marriage or “The Marriage Comes First!”

Did the title of this post catch your eye? Good, you are in the right place. Obviously, I pricked your heart or your ears and you’re looking for some answers. I’ll start with the supposition that you’re married, and were probably married to your spouse first before the awakening and/or allowance of your Dominant and submissive selves to be in the marriage. Based on that supposition, I believe you’re finding that it’s not always so easy to navigate the waters of this relationship and have even gotten beached on a sandbar here or there. The tide always ebbs and flows, so unless you anchor on that sandbar, you’ll be sailing again.

First, what does it mean to have a D/s marriage? There’s a lot out there describing the various forms of D/s and M/s (Master/slave) relationships all within the realm of TTWD (that thing we do…aka BDSM), but we find that somethings don’t apply to us because we were a regular married couple long before making an intentional decision to have a D/s marriage. We’re not looking for play partners or to do a scene publicly. Neither of us is poly and there’s no way on God’s green earth that ANYONE ELSE is coming into this relationship…not now…not ever (can you say HARD LIMIT?) Our commitment to each other is until death do us part…that’s us and that may not be you, but we can only speak from our point of view. We also have children and they need to be taken into consideration in every decision and undertaking. However, there’s still an awful lot of valuable information to glean and lessons to learn even with the differences. Of the blogs and sites that have to do with marriage, they are more of the DD (domestic discipline), HOH (head of household), and TIH (take-in-hand) variety, and that’s not us either. While my husband is absolutely the Head of our household, we are far more than just that dynamic.

Sir is truly a Dominant and I am truly a submissive. We want our kink and we want to eat it too! We like our pain and pleasure. I love kneeling before him, and he loves my submission. It’s quite a heady mix and I keep falling in love with him over and over and over again. Hearing the words, “Good girl” sends me sailing, especially when combined with the special name he calls me. We really believe we’re walking in different territory so there needs to be some ground rules if we want to keep moving in the direction we’re headed. You must be prepared for your journey. You don’t spend a day at the beach without sunblock and a cooler of cold beverages, do you? D/s is a very important part of who we are so it needs healthy nourishment and proper encouragement in order to flourish and thrive, otherwise you’re not just stuck on a sandbar, you’re shipwrecked.

So how do you provide the proper nourishment and encouragement in a long-term, committed D/s marriage? For starters, you must be in the business of protecting each other’s hearts. A true Dom has a huge responsibility in caring for his submissive. Much has been written about the characteristics of a good Dominant and a good submissive (I have some links below for you to check out), but like I said before, our situation is not like other’s out there. If my heart does not get protected by my husband the marriage can easily fail. We’ve been close to that before and have absolutely no interest in repeating past problems. And it’s a two-way street as I have to protect his heart as well. We’ve learned a thing or two in all our years together and have talked extensively about what it means to protect each other’s hearts. We have ground-rules for what it looks like so here’s a couple that you would think are common sense:

1) Be very careful with other women and men in person and online.

There are people out there who would love to find their way into your D/s marriage in many forms, and not just getting one of you to physically cheat because you can cheat on someone without ever having sex. You can cheat with your heart and your mind. You can allow others to steal your intimacy. They know you have something special and they want in. Women LOVE an assertive, in-control man, whether or not they are a submissive, and if you’ve got the goods, they’ve got the flirt. Oh, it seems innocent enough and when you’re blogging with intense honesty and putting it all out there, lines get blurry and one thing leads to another. It happens in offices all the time when a man has a “work wife.” All that fun, flirty banter is actually stealing intimacy, especially when it’s all done under the heading of advice. “Well, she just wanted my advice and point of view. She hasn’t found a man that can handle her and I was helping her put it all in perspective. We have a lot in common and she’s fun to talk to.” Oh, give me a break, you’re flirting, you know it, and she wants you. I guarantee she’s flattered your pants off, too. If you have a wife that’s also your sub, you’re going to break her heart if you keep it up because it’s so easy to keep going and going until one day you want to meet this anonymous fun, flirty, flattering woman who needs a strong man and “advice.”  Man up and pull your pants up while you’re at it. And pull up your panties up, too girls. He really doesn’t want to be your friend so stop pretending that he “doesn’t really mean anything by it.” Liar, liar, pants on fire. If you’re flirting, stop it now and walk away before you break each other’s hearts. The marriage comes first.

2) People with nothing to hide hide nothing.

In blog-land, we have levels of anonymity, and that’s OK. But I’m talking about not letting your spouse have access to your emails, texts, and blog posts. Yeah, I’m ‘gonna’ go there. I have a mouth on me, can you tell? Sometimes my mouth gets me into trouble. Sometimes I write things I shouldn’t write, say things I shouldn’t say, and do things I shouldn’t do, but I will always, always, always own what I write, what I say, and what I do, even if I break in the process. It’s my nature and my cultivated character. I may stick my foot in it, but if my Sir wants to see anything, I am an open book. Here’s a mind-blower and you may think this is SO NOT DOM, but it is SO VERY MARRIED…I have free access to my husband’s emails and texts and anything he writes online. He never wants me to feel like I cannot trust him. He has me go through emails and make deletions because while he’s at work he just does not have the time to get through all the crap and when he comes home he’s too exhausted. He trusts that I will flag anything important and call his attention to what he needs to see. Many times he tells me what to say and I will write emails for him in his name. It’s his words, I’m just doing the typing. We have to have transparency in order for our brand of D/s to work. He wants me to trust him in every way so if it means I have free access to read something or to reach into his wallet to get a $20 bill with complete freedom or without a threat of repercussions, good, because it works for us. Remember, the marriage comes first.

Why am I saying all of this? It’s simple. Our emotions are in the forefront more than ever. Since he stepped up as my Dominant everything he says to me has more meaning and intensity. The joy is greater, but the hurt also cuts deeper. His disapproval makes me cringe because I want him to be pleased with me. In turn, he wants me to feel safe, secure, cherished, and to delight in his attention. If we create distance we’re both miserable. Yeah, I know this doesn’t line up with Old Guard-Leather-High Protocol, but who gives a flying fuck? Those folks won’t be around when I’m old and grey, will they now? It’s our life and this is how we do it. The marriage comes first.

D/s is the catalyst that enabled us to finally bridge the gap in our marriage and communicate and relate to each other on the level that should have been there all along. D/s stopped us from floundering and drifting. D/s is like an anchor that holds us so we don’t drift away from each other. D/s makes us talk, listen, respect, and trust in the most glorious of ways.

So use this litmus test…“If I say what I think I want to say, could I say it to this person in front of my spouse without my spouse freaking out or coming back to me later confused or upset by my seemingly innocent words?” Be honest with yourself and be real; you owe it big time to him or her. The marriage comes first.

Character is what happens when no one is looking. You do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do so walk in wisdom and remember,THE MARRIAGE COMES FIRST!”

XOXO ~ Elle

Characteristics of a Successful Dominant

Expectations of a Submissive

Song of Solomon, Chapter Seven

You are beautiful all over, from your feet up to the curve of your thighs. Your legs and thighs are defined and graceful.

I want to enjoy myself between your legs and lick all your juices.

I want to bind you up tight.

I want to suck on your breasts.

Everything about you is perfect…your neck…your lovely face…your glorious long hair…your sultry eyes…you are delightful.

Your breasts are mine to play with and to lick and suck.

I want to use your mouth for my pleasure.

my mouth is for you pleasure,  my beloved Sir. Fill my mouth to overflowing with your wine, Sir. i am yours and you desire me. Yes, i will go with you. my body is ready for you in every way. Do everything to me that pleases you. i give you myself completely. i have prepared our scene according to your instructions.