IT’S A HAPPY DAY FOR ME! I woke up this morning absolutely sure. I’ve been debating this in my head and heart for years. I’ve given myself every single reason why it can’t be done…
I’m too old, I have kids, I have to be in better shape, I haven’t done it in so long, I’m too old, what if…what if…what if…what if….
FUCK YOU WHAT IF!
FUCK YOU AGE!
There’s a part of me that is unhappy and I’ve looked around to see what can fill it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so very happy with Coach, I’m so very happy with our kids, I’m so very happy with friends, but there’s a part of me that is still a little unhappy and it’s because I’m not doing what I love to do. Bottom line is that I am a performer at heart and it’s my first love. I’ve been performing since I was 4 years old and appeared in a commercial. I’ve been acting, singing, and dancing as far back as I can remember. I’ve had all the professional training. I really don’t want to do anything else. It’s not about money. It’s about what truly gives me joy. I can’t be the joyful person I am unless I perform.
When I’m on stage it’s as if I’m transported into a world of pure bliss. Time stands still and it feels a little like subspace. I am completely in the moment without another thought or care. The high I get from it is beyond anything you can imagine. I love the energy I get from an audience and I feed on it. The more I give, the more they give and it is electrifying. I am fully me on stage and I miss it. The only other thing that gave me that kind of high was running track. Sports and performing are very similar because you have to put it all out there. It’s all or nothing.
So do I just go out and audition for a show? Do I put together a headshot and resume and go find an agent? Nope. I’m doing this my way! I listened to some Sinatra last night and I know what I want.
My voice is well-suited for cabaret singing…Deep, sultry, a little raspy, but I’m able to hit some notes. There’s nothing like a piano bar, a single mic, and standing there in a long, slinky dress that looks like it’s ready to slip off, slide down and pool around the ankles, luxurious hair cascading around shoulders with a sexy wave that covers one eye. Fuck me, that ‘s hot! Now to find someone to play piano for me. In a cabaret setting there must be chemistry between the musician and the singer. Anyone want to be my accompanist?
I love comedy, especially sketch comedy and improv. I’ve written and performed in both. Comedy keeps you on your toes unlike any other type of performance, in my humble opinion. You have to be quick and sharp and have some serious mental dexterity. I’ve studied and performed Greek theater and Shakespeare (they don’t pay well) and comedy is so much harder.
Burlesque is like a drug to me and I haven’t gone to nearly enough shows, but I’m online A LOT watching the best of the best. I love the tease of it. I love the turn on. Unlike stripping, there’s an art to it and that really turns me on. I have wanted to perform burlesque since I first heard of Gypsy Rose Lee, Blaze Starr, and Josephine Baker. Today, burlesque is on fire and I want a piece of it. Did I tell you I look so fine in a corset? Watch out, Dita, here I come!
I know how to put together a show and I’ve directed and performed in a few musicals. I have some skills and I plan on using them. Yup, the performance bug came crawling in again and bit me. I love to be bitten.
So those are my elements and what I plan on putting together for my act. When? Who knows, but I’m going to have some fun working on it. I’ll take some classes, put a couple of acts together, work on my schtick, lift weights and workout like there’s no tomorrow, search for a venue so I can audition (gotta have a goal), read, learn, and grow.