To the person who stole http://www.thesubmissionofelle.com YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE. I think I know who you are, which makes it a whole lot of fun for me. Don’t fuck with me!
Summer holds a special place in my heart. Coach and I began as long-distance phone friends back in November 1986, met in the spring of 1987, and started dating on June 19, 1987. That summer was everything a summer romance is supposed to be. Long days at the beach that turned into romantic dinners and then dancing the night away. Summer evenings curled up on a daybed on screened-in porch talking and laughing for hours. All day sex. All night sex. Playing, experimenting, and learning each other’s bodies. It was an epic summer and near impossible to duplicate. It felt like it would go on forever, but no one can live in that kind of bubble forever. Coach had to leave to go back to school, but one month later I was following after him in the car he bought me. We couldn’t stay apart.
We can no longer spend over two months (without working) hanging out at the beach, but in my mind I can easily relive every memory and feel every feeling. Music can bring me there and when I hear my favorite summer songs I go to that sweet place and smile wide.
I adore the sound of your bare hand across my bare ass.
The feel of your skin on my skin
The swell of heat sweeping across my flesh
The scent of need and lust
You taking me to my safe place.
I have really missed blogging. I’ve been sticking my toe in here and there and I’ve been reading my friends’ blogs (sorry for not always commenting, but I have been reading). Writing hasn’t been at the top of my list. I have to process my life before I write. I don’t process as I write. If I wrote as I processed it would read something like this –
“Son of a bitch! Really? What else? Do they know how long we’ve worked on this? My ass needs attention. Must sleep. I don’t know how much more I’ve got. Yeah, I kicked ass and took names. Baby, hold me please.”
I’ve been searching for a full time job for quite some time, but have not found a job that would work for me and our life. It’s extremely frustrating and the disappointments were playing with my head. Our health insurance doubled and is now more than our freaking mortgage! Yeah, I choke on that, too. We have employer provided insurance, but it’s a small company so they don’t get the insurance discounts the big guys get. At least it’s really good insurance. Everything is getting more expensive and to help keep up our lifestyle I wanted (with Coach’s blessing, of course) to go back to work full time. I had dreams of coming back close to the salary I left off at in 2001 and getting benefits so we could reduce our monthly premiums and start saving again. Well, the full time positions that would work for me pay far less than what I need to earn. I have to factor in childcare for summers and after school so salary is important to make it all worth it. So months and months of searching (thanks, still crappy economy) wore me out and I was getting weary. I’m not one to throw in the towel, so rather than accept defeat, I got creative. Necessity is, after all, the mother of invention.
Last summer I had an interview with a promising company. I wrote about it here. Unfortunately, a full time position didn’t happen because they were not able to add a new location and my potential job was predicated on that expansion. I did work with them putting together the proposal to the city that consisted of the business and marketing plans and I was paid well for my efforts. It was a valuable learning experience and it led to project by project personal assistant work for the owner. From working with contactors for his flip houses to booking travel to various research projects, I did it all. So many people suggested I go into business for myself, but that’s easier said than done as any start up business owner knows. A few months ago I got some leads and followed up on them, which led to more and more leads. I’m happy to say that I have (at a snails pace) started my own business. I currently have eight solid clients and will be securing more soon. I predominately do audits and business investigations as well as various administrative and personal assisting projects. Some clients have immediate deadlines and some give more flexibility. Some I travel to and others I do from home. It’s very flexible, which makes life easier for me and so much easier for Coach and the kids. Last week, I met, for the first time in all of this, my weekly earnings goal and this week I’m half way there. Whoo hoo! Oh, and people are paying ON TIME!
I’ve worked my ass off for this, but I know I have a long way to go. In the meantime, the extra income has really been helping out. Coach and I have also been expanding his business and have had some great things happen. We are currently putting together a Groupon. I have a few more questions I need to get answered before we go for it, but so far so good. Getting our name out will be good and I even thought of doing a Personal Assistant Groupon as well. One step at a time.
In all of the exhaustion, frustration, tears, and accomplishments we’ve stayed strong as a couple. Life is a roller coaster and you have to keep that in mind. Highs and lows will happen and it’s OK. I don’t begrudge anything. It’s useless to get annoyed with vanilla life when that is the majority of all our lives. TTWD is always there and setting in our hearts and minds that we will get back on track goes a long way towards keeping meltdowns from happening. We are life partners and that keeps us grounded. The times we can fully engage are so much more meaningful and significant. I am grateful for all that I have and thankful I have such an understanding and helpful Husband and Dom. He is my biggest supporter as I am his and we know that together we can do anything.
My mind wanders.
I process hundreds of confusing thoughts in mere seconds.
I shatter into thousands of pieces of glass shards of chaos.
And then you speak and your baritone voice vibrates and causes those pieces to come back together creating a mirror so I can see who I really am.
Confusion turns into control, which turns into peace.
I am whole.