Sometimes I don’t breathe until he comes home
I’m not holding my breath nor am I hyperventilating
I’m in a state of suspended animation
I go through the motions of breathing
The air goes into my lungs
My chest rises and falls
I exhale
Then he walks in the door
And I draw in life
You had me spend the last three days waiting and wanting.
I was so wet and eager, but you kept me that way day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute.
I squirmed as I drove and especially as I worked out. I felt myself moisten with each kiss, each touch, each phone call, each text.
Last night you let me cum, but not before teasing me relentlessly. You know all too well what that does to me.
You kept bringing me to the edge.
You finally let me writhe and groan and gyrate and explode over and over.
And then you had your way with me until you released all of your pent up need.
We drifted off to sleep sated and when I woke up this morning it started all over again.
My panties are soaked. Again.
We’ve all seen it. Whether it’s at work, school, a store, the DMV, or in your very own lazy family, there are people who do only the bare minimum. They don’t want to work too hard so they do just enough to get by. It reminds me of that movie Office Space when Peter was telling the two Bobs about his work day.
I’ve had jobs that bored the crap out of me and yet I still tried to do the best job I could. I can understand Peter because I also need a certain amount of motivation and a level of incentive. I’ve never been a bare minimum kind of gal because I suffer from the terrible affliction of trying to do too much in a short amount of time and I have to do it perfectly. I pushed myself way too hard during the holidays and got sick (Passover and Easter around here). I was doing OK that Monday, but I had a bunch of things to get done and by Tuesday I was down for the count. Not good and I was lovingly scolded by my caring friends and had to be lovingly healed up by my caring Dom. By the way, it wasn’t Coach who pushed me and he’s always getting me slow down and rest or do just one thing at a time.
I’ve gotten better over the last three years and I have to say that D/s has helped me tremendously. I am so much better at prioritizing and saying a big fat no to the outside world. My yeses are for my Dom. Before this lifestyle I so wanted to please and make everyone happy and comfortable that I volunteered like a woman possessed. The problem was that I didn’t have time to commit to my own husband. You have to know first that Coach isn’t a demanding man. There are certain things that have always been his absolutes and for all the rest he’s pretty easy going. I can look back and see that I took advantage of his relaxed personality, but it was all done without premeditation. I had a driving need to serve. As I got more involved in saying yes at work, at church, with friends and family, even Coach’s absolutes started getting dropped and over time it caused many, many problems. I didn’t have an off button. I would always say yes. Make lasagnas for 100? No problem. Help set up chairs for 500? I can handle that. Host a luncheon, dinner, brunch, pancake breakfast, picnic in the park??????? Yes! Sure! OK! Uh huh! Absolutely! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Every now and then I push too hard and do too much. I usually get into trouble when I don’t allow my Dom to guide, approve, and allow activities. He gives me a huge amount of room because he trusts my judgement and I am getting better and better at going to him much quicker, especially when I feel like I can’t do it all. Coach, while not a micro manager, does see the value in checking in with me more often and noticing those early subtle clues when I’m trying to make it all work and am having a hard time.
I’m still of the firm belief that a job worth doing is worth doing well. My main job is to serve my Dom and do the best job I can. Unlike Peter Gibbons, when I go above and beyond it’s noticed and I’m richly rewarded.
The Submission of Elle 