Personality Traits of a Profound Submissive

I am so happy to say that I found the original author on FetLife. His name is MasterDane and he has since renamed this work Traits of an Extreme Submissive Personality. I am delighted to repost this (with his permission, of course…thank you, Sir). You can see his original work here https://fetlife.com/users/424067/posts/320358

The Submission of Elle

I found this a while back on another blog that I have since lost so sorry that I cannot give credit. Tell me what you think. Any to add? Remove? Which ones do you relate to?

Personality Traits of a profound submissive

The ways in which I spot a profound submissive who is not aware of what she is yet:

  • She is very sensitive to my moods, body language, and tone of voice. She is very sensitive to criticism.
  • She has a child-like presence.
  • She is eager to please me and eager to follow my suggestions.
  • She is sexually aroused/fascinated by my dominant presence.
  • She turns to me as an authority/advisor when she has personal questions.
  • She says something’s been missing in all her previous relationships.
  • She finds herself becoming anxious coping with everyday life on her own.
  • She says she feels as if she’s putting on a mask or…

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Sometimes

Sometimes I don’t breathe until he comes home
I’m not holding my breath nor am I hyperventilating
I’m in a state of suspended animation
I go through the motions of breathing
The air goes into my lungs
My chest rises and falls
I exhale
Then he walks in the door
And I draw in life

Soaked Panties

You had me spend the last three days waiting and wanting.

I was so wet and eager, but you kept me that way day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute.

I squirmed as I drove and especially as I worked out. I felt myself moisten with each kiss, each touch, each phone call, each text.

Last night you let me cum, but not before teasing me relentlessly. You know all too well what that does to me.

You kept bringing me to the edge.

You finally let me writhe and groan and gyrate and explode over and over.

And then you had your way with me until you released all of your pent up need.

We drifted off to sleep sated and when I woke up this morning it started all over again.

My panties are soaked. Again.

 

Going Above and Beyond

We’ve all seen it. Whether it’s at work, school, a store, the DMV, or in your very own lazy family, there are people who do only the bare minimum. They don’t want to work too hard so they do just enough to get by. It reminds me of that movie Office Space when Peter was telling the two Bobs about his work day.

I’ve had jobs that bored the crap out of me and yet I still tried to do the best job I could. I can understand Peter because I also need a certain amount of motivation and a level of incentive. I’ve never been a bare minimum kind of gal because I suffer from the terrible affliction of trying to do too much in a short amount of time and I have to do it perfectly. I pushed myself way too hard during the holidays and got sick (Passover and Easter around here). I was doing OK that Monday, but I had a bunch of things to get done and by Tuesday I was down for the count. Not good and I was lovingly scolded by my caring friends and had to be lovingly healed up by my caring Dom. By the way, it wasn’t Coach who pushed me and he’s always getting me slow down and rest or do just one thing at a time.

I’ve gotten better over the last three years and I have to say that D/s has helped me tremendously. I am so much better at prioritizing and saying a big fat no to the outside world. My yeses are for my Dom. Before this lifestyle I so wanted to please and make everyone happy and comfortable that I volunteered like a woman possessed. The problem was that I didn’t have time to commit to my own husband. You have to know first that Coach isn’t a demanding man. There are certain things that have always been his absolutes and for all the rest he’s pretty easy going. I can look back and see that I took advantage of his relaxed personality, but it was all done without premeditation. I had a driving need to serve. As I got more involved in saying yes at work, at church, with friends and family, even Coach’s absolutes started getting dropped and over time it caused many, many problems. I didn’t have an off button. I would always say yes. Make lasagnas for 100? No problem. Help set up chairs for 500? I can handle that. Host a luncheon, dinner, brunch, pancake breakfast, picnic in the park??????? Yes! Sure! OK! Uh huh! Absolutely! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Every now and then I push too hard and do too much. I usually get into trouble when I don’t allow my Dom to guide, approve, and allow activities. He gives me a huge amount of room because he trusts my judgement and I am getting better and better at going to him much quicker, especially when I feel like I can’t do it all. Coach, while not a micro manager, does see the value in checking in with me more often and noticing those early subtle clues when I’m trying to make it all work and am having a hard time.

I’m still of the firm belief that a job worth doing is worth doing well. My main job is to serve my Dom and do the best job I can. Unlike Peter Gibbons, when I go above and beyond it’s noticed and I’m richly rewarded.

Pursue Me

As a submissive I never refuse any sexual contact. I’m available to my Dom whenever, wherever, and however he chooses. This is the agreement because he is in charge of my body. Granted, when I’m sick or dog-tired he’s a loving and understanding Dom and he takes care of me and makes sure I get my rest. My well being is priority.

All that being said, I still want to be pursued. Just because he can always have me doesn’t mean I don’t want to feel the excitement of the seduction. I love the pursuit. I want to feel wanted and desired. That feeling of the chase is so thrilling. There’s the lead up, the flirting, the subtle, but definitive touches. There’s the look in his eyes and the mischievous smile. Nothing specifically said yet volumes are spoken. It’s teasing at its finest and it makes me feel so sexy and special. It’s the feeling of being desired and singled out. It’s the little things and the big things and everything else in between. It’s the connective heat and the thrill of the unexpected.

Oh, yes, Sir, pursue me.

Come On Baby, Make It Hurt So Good: An Impact Play Guide

So you’re interested in impact play? Spanking, flogging, caning, and whipping has you intrigued. Maybe you’ve played around a bit, but now you want to get serious. I can totally relate, but you need to know a few things first. Whether you’re an expert or newbie, the rules remain the same and just winging it isn’t the smartest thing to do and as a matter of fact, is dangerous. Let me first give a warning: If you think impact play is an excuse to beat the shit out of your girlfriend and get away with it because you use the excuse that it’s “consensual, ” you’re a criminal that needs to be locked up in jail as this moron will soon find out: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-50-shades-of-grey-uic-sex-charge-20150223-story.html

I am not an expert by any stretch, but I have an awful lot of common sense, a hefty dose of street smarts, and have cultivated a knowledge base over the last three years because we rely on the advice of others who have climbed this mountain and have years and years of training, mentoring, and real life experience. If you’re going to do this then do it right so it can be the amazing experience you’ve always dreamed it to be.

OK, let’s get started. Before you jump in and start smacking you need to read up. Yes, you’re going to have to READ so stop being lazy about it and do your homework. A good place to start is with the following very interesting article that some of you may take issue with and find controversial, but I exhort you to take what the author is saying into consideration: Facts and Myths About BDSM Safety

Now that we have that out of the way (and feel free to bring it up in comments), here are the areas you will need to understand:

1) What is Impact Play

BDSM 101 — Impact Play

2) RACK, SSC, 4Cs

From “SSC” and “RACK” to the “4Cs”: Introducing a new Framework for Negotiating BDSM Participation

3) Negotiation

The Seductive Art of Negotiation

Private Duty: Negotiation

4) Safe Words

Sex Communication Tactic Derived from S&M #2: Safewords and Check-Ins 

When safe words are ignored

5) Consent

CONSENT and BDSM: The State of the Law

6) How, when, and where to strike

BDSM Basics: Impact Play Safe Zones and Spanking Tips

7) Endorphins

Know the science behind those wonderful feel good hormones:

http://www.rosecoloredasses.com/sirreal/bdsmscience.htm

A step-by-step guide to achieving subspace through impact play:

http://friskybusinessboutique.com/the-endorphin-levels-in-bdsm/

A relatively unknown condition called “Endorphin Shock”

http://www.bdsmwiki.info/Endorphin_Shock

8) First Aid (It is also a good idea for Dom and sub to get certified in first aid and CPR)

BDSM medical advice

http://www.evilmonk.org/a/medtext.cfm

Submissive Guide has a free printable for easy reference called Physical Aftercare and First Aid Quick Reference that you can download.

Beyond Whips and Chains: What Medical Students Need to Know About BDSM

Going to the Doctor with Kink-Related Marks or Bruises

First Aid for Bruises, Abrasions and Other After Play Marks

9) Aftercare

sub/Dom Space, sub/Dom Drop and Aftercare

Caring for Yourself After a Scene: Self-Aftercare

As you can see, there’s so much that goes into impact play. Start off slow and make sure you are with someone you can truly trust, and even then, take every reasonable and necessary precaution. You are not in competition with anyone and it’s perfectly fine to be a beginner at this. As a matter of fact, you gain tons of cool points if you lean towards the side of caution.

On a personal note, I encourage both Dom and sub to workout and stretch on a regular basis. You have to take care of your body if you’re going to engage in impact play. There is a connection between your mind and body that needs to be practiced regularly, but if you’re sedentary or even just mildly active it’s too easy for a disconnect to happen. If your body is not used to pushing itself physically you may have some very unpleasant experiences during impact play. Training on a regular basis also teaches your body how to recover as it gets used to getting hormones back to normal after surges.

Be healthy, be smart, and enjoy!

XO ~ Elle