BDSM Scene Preparation

We don’t do big scenes weekly or even bi-monthly. I just heard your collective sighs, but really, it’s OK. We have lots of sex and intimacy, a good smattering of amuse-bouche, and at least one good “scenette” monthly, as conditions allow (a little afternoon delight while the kids are at school or at some sort of daytime function for a couple of hours). The epic type of scenes – the kind that last a few hours and wring every last little bit of pain and pleasure out of you – the kind that turn you into a sated, sweaty, quivering mass of sub-spaced giggling slap-me-happy – those delicious coveted times usually only happen every 4-6 weeks because the kids MUST be at a sleepover and there cannot be a hundred projects going on. We have to plan it and work towards it by clearing the path for it to happen. There are times life interferes and all our plans go up in smoke because someone gets sick or an unexpected event comes up that we must attend. C’est la vie. The demands of our life just don’t afford us the luxury of carving out that amount of time as frequently as we desire. The good news in all of this is that a lot of sexy scene anticipation occurs leading up to it, and that is all part of the fun, because so much of D/s is in the mind.

First things first – about four days or so before I clean our Master bedroom and bath top to bottom and inside-out. I want our haven to be clean and serene. No clutter, dust, laundry, or papers! The last thing I want is to see junk sitting in a pile because that kind of distraction messes with my state of mind and I start worrying about the never ending to-do list. I want to free-fall into submissive head space without the demands of life impeding on our precious time together. Make sure your play space is as sexy and as appealing as you can make it. It’s a fact that the nicer something is the better it’s taken care of. I hate cleaning (because I can be a perfectionist in this area and drive myself crazy) and I could just as soon avoid cleaning altogether. My main motivation to clean anything is 1) the possibility of people coming over and 2) Our playtime. Whatever works, right? Question: Why does the Master bedroom turn into the place where things get hidden from company? Probably because NO ONE IS ALLOWED IN THERE!

Helpful Hint: As much as we love our kids, we do not have photos of them in our Master bedroom. WTF, you say? No, really. There are tons of photos of them all over the house, as well as pics of grandmas, grandpas and the rest of the extended family, but not in our bedroom. They are distraction in a room made for love, sex, and play. Come on, do you really want to be tied to the bed post while being flogged and look over to see your sweet little cherub-cheeked angel looking back at you? Not me, thank you very much! That’s a cock blocker and and orgasm deflater. Instead, make sure you have photos of the two of you together (and not the ones with your ugly 80s perm). Photos of the two of you having fun and enjoying each other are good. Make this room your special place. Capice?

About two days out I check on everything we need. This is fairly easy because we always clean up and put things away as soon as possible after we use our toys and equipment. Still, I check to see if any toys need batteries or if I need to replenish any lubes, oils, wax, candles, recovery drinks and supplements, or aftercare items such as arnica or aloe vera gel. I make sure everything is in good condition and that it’s all in its rightful place. I’ll usually rub down all our leather items with leather conditioning cream, too.

We have plenty of special sex towels and wash cloths that we use so I make sure everything has been laundered. Here’s a tip (hotels do this): all the towels and wash cloths that we use for sex are white because they need to get washed and bleached in hot water in order for them to be thoroughly sanitized and clean. You know sex is messy, right? We still have a wipes warmer from the kids’ baby days and I find it’s perfect for keeping about six wash cloths moist and warm for easy clean up after sex. I just run the wash cloths under very hot water, wring them out, roll them up, and put them in the warmer about an hour before we play. Coach lovingly cleans me as part of aftercare and there’s nothing like the feel of soothing warm wash cloths. It makes us feel like we’re flying first class.

Prince Lionheart Warmies Wipes Warmer.

We also have a super absorbent blanket (squirters can relate to the need for this) and a couple of satin sheets that we drape over the bed so we don’t have to wash our comforter and sheets. Did I mention that sex is messy? Squirting aside, we’ve had some lube accidents a time or two.

The day before I take care of me. I always try to get my Brazilian sugaring done the day before. I don’t wax, I sugar because it is SO MUCH BETTER. I go to an amazing place that that has a lot of kinky clients (it’s where all the strippers go) and the girls there are a hoot! They know I’m a sub, too, so I have the freedom to be open and talk. They’re discreet because their clientele demands it of them. This place is gold! P.S. Coach goes there for his Brazilian sugar as well.

“Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love”

I then make my way over to a little Indian salon to get my eyebrows and upper lip threaded. Women from all walks of life come here to watch whatever Bollywood movie is playing on their big screen and to have their eyebrows expertly shaped to perfection using nothing more than cotton thread! These women get absolutely every little hair and do it so crazy fast that you don’t have time to worry about it hurting. My brows are a breeze for me, but OMG my upper lip makes my eyes well up with tears. I’ve come to find out that it’s the most sensitive part on my body. I went to Sally’s and purchased a numbing agent for my upper lip because it’s the only way I can get through it. I used to wax my upper lip myself, but no product got all of those tiny hairs. Threading is the way to go. Get this, no appointment is necessary and with tip I only pay $15! I have to time this trip carefully because if it’s afternoon on a Friday or any given Saturday they can get crowded. Even with all that demand I’ve never had to wait more than 30 min and I’m done in less than 10. It’s in the perfect location because right across the street is our favorite sex toy store. Don’t you just love convenience?

Yes, that’s me getting threaded. Don’t you dare say a word about my grey roots! Guess where I head to next? Yup, the sex toy store!

If I need to get my hair done then this is the day I do it. See why I need to plan? And you thought it was just making sure the kids got dropped off at their Aunt’s house. Don’t you know me by now?

I like to wait until the day of to get a manicure (if I need it). I cook and do a lot of crafty things at home so my hands take a beating (and you thought it was only my ass) so I try to stay on top of my hands on a daily basis, but I will most certainly get a pedicure. Do you have any idea how much I love a long, spa pedi? Well, you do now. I have a bit of an obsession with keeping my feet super soft (no yucky calluses) and pretty because I live in a very dry climate and if I didn’t take care of them my feet would look like hell, but the pedi is my extra indulgence and Coach allows me plenty of indulgences. Coach will only allow me to use reds or pinks on my nails so I usually do a nude or light pink on my fingernails, but with my toes I go into the super dark reds. Damn, it makes me feel sexy.

I try to take it easy on the day of because I want all my energy. I make sure the night before I go to bed on time so the next day I feel good. In the morning I shave my legs and underarms (I never get those parts sugared) and I make sure I exfoliate everywhere. I put on lotion at this time so my skin is soft. I will drink plenty of water throughout the day and eat really well (no gassy food, know what I mean?). If I can take a nap during the day I will. I’ll take a dip in the tub awhile before, but will not use any lotion at that time. I don’t want to be slippery and I also don’t want competing scents. I put some vanilla essential oil in the bath water because Coach loves that scent on me as it mixes well with my body chemistry. I do my hair the way he requests and he may or may not ask me to put on makeup. I will dress according to his instructions or he may not want me wearing anything at all. I love the excitement of all of this and as I receive his instructions my submission deepens. I may play some music while I’m preparing that will help me relax and focus. We almost always have candles lit for the ambiance and even for the scent. Coach will mix up an energy drink for us as well as make a special recovery drink for the both of us to have on hand. We also make sure we have snacks ready for after play (cut up pineapple and some protein, like chicken).

Apart from all of these preparations, Coach will give me assignments over the weeks and days as well as specific instructions of what he wants. So if he wants wax then I make sure we have everything for wax play. If he wants to add in ice to that play then I make some ice dildos. I bet that got your attention. Do you have any idea how amazing it feels when he goes back and forth between the hot wax and the cold of the ice? I’m squeezing my thighs together just thinking about it.

Can you tell I just ooze with joy at the thought of all of this? We had an amazing time on Valentine’s Day, which was our 26th wedding anniversary. We had a fabulous scene that had me flying all the next day. We are planning out our next scene together and I can’t wait to find out what we’ll be doing. I am already feverish with anticipation.

 

What Does 50 Shades of Grey Have To Do With This Blog?

My stats have been very interesting lately. I’ve been getting over 1000 views per day for the last couple of weeks, but I haven’t been posting much. I can’t help but wonder if the increase in views is due to the release of the movie, Fifty Shades of Grey. I believe it is.

I think that maybe my blog is appealing to many women (and some men) who’ve read the books and are excited about the movie. They’re curious about this lifestyle and my blog seems like a safe place to get some information. If that’s you, welcome! I’m so glad you feel comfortable enough to peruse my writing and hopefully you’ve gotten some valuable insight. I am more than willing to answer any questions I can so I welcome your feedback. I am not an expert, but I have a penchant for research and the ability to weed through the crap that is out there. I’ve also made some wonderful friends along the way and I thoroughly enjoy the network of lifestylers with whom I exchange ideas, thoughts, concerns, and views. We also have plenty of laughs and shared tears. It’s a wonderful support group and I learn so much from them everyday.

I have a local vanilla friend who was(is) a huge Twilight fan and she dared me to read the books. I was directing an improv theater group with an age range of performers from 18-30 and they had all read Twilight. Their jokes went over my head. I read the books and watched the movies as a result. They were an easy distraction from the exhaustion of my autoimmune disease, which was not under control at that time. I was always a very serious reader so this was actually welcome brain candy, and they satisfied the “baby [big] girl/little” in me (just a small facet of my submissive personality – a recent discovery that my friends, Angel and Kayla, have helped me with). Next thing you know, my vanilla friend emailed me the Twilight fanfic – Master of the Universe – the Twific written by E.L. James under the name Snowqueens Icedragon. I laughed and laughed as I read it, but I will admit that it stirred in me a long suppressed desire, which had been trying to flush up for a few years. When the FSOG books came out I read them as well. I had already been [secretly] doing my research into the lifestyle. I needed to reconcile my past with what I had already been feeling since as far back as I could remember.

I was in theater school in NYC in my late teens/early 20s and exposure to alternate lifestyles was common. I knew people from all walks of life. I observed and asked questions. I was curious and had many fantasies. There was a desire in me to be submissive, but I had no idea how to go about it. At 19 I married a man who was kinky and dabbled in BDSM. He was my first real exposure to the lifestyle. This man was heavily into pornography, and not just your regular porn available at a video rental store, but he had access to underground porn. It was obvious that he was grooming me. I submitted to him as a natural part of who I was, but there was never any kind of real protocol between us and I wasn’t even aware that there was a protocol. He wasn’t a sadist, but he was into humiliation and that made me very uncomfortable. I didn’t know how to speak up about it as he made it all part of our sex life. My need to submit overrode my ability to speak up until one night it all came crashing down and it was the beginning of the end. A bad fisting incident, which opened the door to all kinds of marital problems, began four months of separating. Upon reflection I can see that the fisting incident was the catalyst for my submission getting pushed back into the recesses of my mind and heart. I didn’t immediately share the incident with Coach when we met, but once I did during our engagement he never wanted to be compared to my ex and I can totally understand why he felt that way. It held him back. I held myself back. It hurt us and we didn’t know how to fully express ourselves.

The reason I’m sharing all of this with you is because I take my submission and my D/s relationship with my husband seriously and the people I know involved in the lifestyle take theirs seriously as well. We have gone through so many growing pains and have had to peel back layers and layers of learned behavior and error. We’ve uncovered insecurities as well as strengths and have found our footing over time. We grow everyday because we put in the work everyday. I submitted to Coach for close to a year and didn’t ask him to be my Dominant. I simply had the need to submit (you can read about it here). Please understand that the foundation of Dominance and submission doesn’t have to be sexual. D/s is an intimacy between two people who have the need to exist in their roles fully and completely with another person, which may or may not include any form of sexual contact. D/s relationships do not have to include S&M either, but can easily factor in. Each couple is unique in how they interact with one another. Unfortunately, you can go online and think you HAVE  to do this or that because there are many out there that think they have arrived and have some kind of perfect formula or their way is the right way to do it and everyone else is wrong. There is no right or wrong dynamic as long as both people involved are fully aware of the risks and have given their free-will consent to any and all activities, which is the first step in establishing proper protocol in any D/s relationship. The pillars of a D/s relationship are trust and communication because it exposes and reveals.

It’s very important to know that you cannot make someone something they are not already. Yes, your husband/wife may show Dominant or submissive tendencies, but it doesn’t mean they are one. He or she may just want to be service Top or bottom and all activities are confined to the bedroom or playroom and outside of that environment you live your lives they way you normally do. That arrangement is perfectly acceptable if it works for you, but to engage in a D/s or M/s dynamic 24/7 is something else entirely and FSOG is a piss-poor example of what that entails.

The FSOG books are not about a D/s relationship or BDSM. FSOG is a sexed-up, kinky romance novel using D/s and BDSM as a means of satisfying the author’s curiosity in the lifestyle and to envision herself being tied down and spanked by Robert Pattinson/Edward Cullen/Christian Grey. There’s nothing wrong that and I personally think Rob is hot and if there was ever a time that Rob Pattinson could be a Top for me in a situation that Coach controlled I would totally go for it.

So people, as you go see FSOG this weekend please take it all with a grain of salt. Don’t go running off seeking a Dominant or a submissive with a BDSM contract you downloaded in your hand. Please respect the people in this lifestyle and the hard choices that are made everyday to live the life we desire with integrity and dignity. Please don’t try to make your husband/fiance/girlfriend/whatever your Dominant or submissive because I’ve seen first hand how that can backfire on you. Relationships really can break up from this or suffer terribly. This is not a game. If you really feel like you are called to be a Dominant or submissive then read some good books on the subject and do your research. Live as a Dominant or submissive for a while (without a partner or requesting anything of your current partner) to make sure you are who you say you are. Resist the urge to get caught up in Dom or sub frenzy. And would-be Doms, please don’t you dare go around demanding that people call you Sir or Master because you’ve got a ways to go before you’re entitled to hear those titles. Your money, career, stature, physical ability, intelligence, lineage, or background do not make you a Dom or Master and there is a difference between being Domineering (Hello, Christian Grey?) and being a Dominant. Now, if you and your partner want to engage in some kinky exploration to spice up your sex life, go for it! Just make sure you follow some simple safety guidelines, which you can find here.

Well, that’s my 2 cents. Enjoy my blog, enjoy the movie, and enjoy each other. Below are some links to get you started down the right path to understanding this lifestyle in a more informed way than a fanfic trilogy ever could.

Domination and submission Radio with Michael Makai

Submissive Guide

Dominant Guide

 

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/feb/10/fetish-lovers-fifty-shades-of-grey-stonewall-moment

An Audio Birthday Card…Listen, If You Dare.

I’ve channelled my inner Marilyn to wish you a very Happy Birthday, Sir.

I am so thankful that you were born and I can’t wait for you to get home so we can celebrate. I also can’t wait for the weekend and whatever you have planned for us 🙂

I love you with all my heart, mind, body, and soul. Happy Birthday.

 

 

 

 

Over The Edge – Conclusion

Over The Edge, Part 1

Over The Edge, Part 2

Over The Edge, Part 3

Over The Edge, Part 4

She smiles back at me and it’s as if the entire room lights up and I have butterflies. I look at my Sir and the strange intruder and they are beaming.  We are only a few feet apart but it feels like miles. I take a step forward to reach for her and I am told to stop. Sir comes up close to me, presses his hand on the small of my back and escorts me to the other side of the room. He whispers in my ear, ” I need you to continue to be a good girl. We’ve talked a lot about this and today your fantasies will come true. I need you to hold on a little while longer before you receive your reward. I need to make sure you can handle some things. Do you trust me?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good. Now come with me.”

He walks me over to where she’s standing and positions us very close to each other. We are told to not touch one other. I want to touch her. She’s beautiful and voluptuous.  Then he brushes her hair from her eyes and tucks it behind her left ear. He cups her face in the palms of his hands, leans down and starts to passionately kiss her.  I’ve never seen him kiss anyone.  I am mesmerized by the intensity of their kiss and she is kissing him back just as passionately. She moans into his mouth. I’m so close to the two of them and I feel myself leaning closer as I’m being drawn into their kiss. At that exact moment I feel hands come from behind me and pull me away.

The strange intruder escorts me over to a chair that has a full view of the two of them kissing. He releases his extremely large, rigid cock from the confines of his pants, sits down in the chair, turns me so my back is to him and so I’m facing the two of them, and then slides me down onto him.  A moan now escapes my lips and at the same time another one escapes from hers. Our eyes are locked on each other’s and I see hers open wide as she’s watching me riding the strange intruder. Do they know each other? The strange intruder begins to assault my breasts. He tugs and pulls and squeezes and pinches with his large, strong hands. He starts to bite my right shoulder as his left hand moves down and begins to rub my clit.

I am lost in the sensations as I watch my Sir move her over to the couch. He sits her down and spreads her legs open wide. He kneels down in front of her and begins to lick her pussy. His hands are on her knees pushing her legs open and she is gyrating her hips as seeks his tongue.  She begins to tremble as he relentlessly sucks and licks.

The strange intruder takes his hands and places them on my hips and begins to move me up and down. He whispers in my ear, “I want you to cum for me. No one will know if you do.” I shake my head no as he moves me up and down him harder. “It feels so good and I know you want it.  Your pussy is telling me yes.” Again I shake my head no. Why is he doing this to me?

I watch Sir slide one, two, then three fingers in her as he continues his assault on her with his tongue. I can barely contain myself. Then she cums hard and long and I try to pull myself off the strange  intruder to keep myself from cumming. He allows me to release, not for me, but for him. He goes over to the two of them. Sir sits on the couch and she straddles him. He runs his hands all over her. They kiss again, but more intensely than before. Then the strange intruder mounts her and takes her ass. I can’t move a muscle as I watch their union. I’ve never seen my Sir’s face this way. It is a look of pure ecstasy. He calls me over.

“Sit next to me. I want you to watch her face as she enjoys my cock.”

I sit next to him on the couch. He turns to me and kisses me hard. I taste her on him. He kisses me with a raw desperation. I know this kiss. This is the kiss that says, “You’re Mine.”  And then she cums. Sir takes my face and turns it so I watch her. She screams. He begins to grunt and I know he’s going to cum as well. He releases into her and I feel like I’m having an out of body experience. He turns to me again and kisses me sweetly and then smiles. I look at her and she is smiling at the both of us and in that moment she cums again and the strange intruder releases himself.

I was in deep in a state of euphoria and the rest of the afternoon went by quickly. I was flogged by the strange intruder and spanked by my Sir. I needed the pain. Then he fed me, cleaned me, massaged me and dressed me in lingerie and heels. She carefully did my hair and makeup and left. I did not recognize myself in the mirror. Sir came up from behind me, kissed the nape of my neck and then secured my collar around my neck.

“You take my breath away, my gorgeous girl. You’re ready for tonight. Showtime!”

He escorts me down the stairs to the garage and puts me in the car. He ties the silk scarf over my eyes. I have no idea where we’re going. We drive for a little while and arrive at our destination. He helps me out of the car and walks me through a door and down what seems like a corridor and then up a couple of stairs. I hear voices hush. I am positioned standing with my arms at my sides. Then Sir stands behind me and removes my blindfold and a thunderous applause erupts.

I am standing on a round stage in front of an audience in small intimate theater. The audience is completely around the entire stage. There is king sized bed behind us dressed in red satin. I look straight ahead of me and there she is. She stands and walks up the steps toward me.

Then Sir says to me, “In honor of being a good girl all the pleasure is for you. You will receive as much as you like and can freely take from anyone you choose as many times as you wish.”

“Thank you, Sir, for my reward. I choose to start with the both of you.”

I then lean in to her and kiss her and the crowd begins to cheer. The pleasure is all mine.

 

 The End

 

Over The Edge – Part 4

I’m terribly sorry for the delay in posting these last two parts. I hope you enjoy Part 4. Part 5, the conclusion, will post tomorrow. Thank you for reading. ~Elle xoxo

Over The Edge, Part 1

Over The Edge, Part 2

Over The Edge, Part 3

Sir walks into the kitchen and stops short as soon as he sees me. My eyes widen and I’m still struggling to get free. He looks mad.

His voice booms, “What have you been doing?” I can’t answer because of the ball gag. He removes it.

“There was a man here. He tied me up and gagged me.” As I was telling him I could see that the stranger was just around the corner, but I could only see his back.

“This doesn’t look like you were attacked. This looks like you were playing. Were you playing?”

“No, Sir,” I said emphatically, “He had a knife and grabbed me from behind. He said he would kill us if I didn’t do what he said.”

“I think you were playing.”

Sir reaches between my legs and runs the tips of his fingers in the wet spot on the seat. He squats right in front of me and holds his fingers to my eyes. My body has betrayed me. Sir wipes my juices on the faint x carved between my breasts.

“But, but…” I stammer.

Firmly, but with just a hint of laughter in his voice Sir demands, “No more talking from you! You are not allowed to make a sound until I give you permission.”

He calls to the stranger. The stranger rounds the corner and I clench my jaw. He is wearing the same leather mask the intruder wore. The stranger is the intruder! He saunters over carrying the duffel bag, drops it at my feet and gives me the most devious smile. I remain expressionless.

The strange intruder pushes me in my chair close to the wall. He reaches into his duffle bag and pulls out a wand and more rope. I squeeze my eyes shut because I know what’s coming. He positions the wand on my clit and wraps the rope around my thighs and the seat of the chair to secure it. He plugs it in and turns it on the low setting.

“Remember, you are not allowed to make a sound,” Sir reiterates.

Sir and the strange intruder sit nearby and causally eat and talk. All I can do is try with all my might to not make a sound and fight my urge to cum. I don’t know how much time goes by because it’s all a blur. I hear them laugh, I know they’re watching, but I can’t open my eyes. Then suddenly the wand stops. I am trembling. I open my eyes.

Sir unties the wand and then the rest of my restraints. He turns me around and tells me to rest my hands on the seat of the chair. Without any notice he plunges inside of me and starts fucking my ass hard. I hold back a scream. I am still not allowed to make a sound. He cums fast and hard inside me. He wraps his arms around me and turns my face toward him and kisses me tenderly. He strokes my hair. He lifts me off the chair, sits down in it and cradles me on his lap. He feeds me, continues to stroke my hair, and hums to me softly as he cares for me.

“You’re allowed to speak. How do you feel?”

“I’m very tired, Sir.”

I wake up again in bed, but this time my Sir is holding me close to him. It is bright in the room. Can that be? It’s 1:30 in the afternoon.

“Hi sleepy head, you did very well last night.”

 “Thank you, Sir.”

“I want you to take a shower and get yourself ready the same way you did last night. Your lunch will be waiting for you when you come out. After you finish eating come down stairs. This is a big day for you.”

I do exactly as I’m told. I walk into the living room and I’m greeted by a site that takes my breath away. A warm flush washes over me and I smile the biggest smile. It’s her!

To be continued…

 

Over The Edge – Part 3

Over The Edge, Part 1

Over The Edge, Part 2

I wake up in bed, but it’s very dark in the room. I feel the bed move next to me.

“Are  you thirsty?” Sir asks.

I throw my arms around him and frantically start kissing him. I need his lips on mine. I need his arms around me. It seems he needs me as much as I need him and kisses me back with just as much energy and desire.

He holds my face in his hand and looks at me so tenderly.

“You made me proud.”

“Thank you, Sir, for your present.” 

“Drink your water.” He hands me a glass and I drink.

“Do you need to use the bathroom?” I nod.

I excuse myself to use the bathroom and while in there I hear muffled voices talking. He’s still here.

A few minutes later there’s a knock at the door.

“Kip, we’re going to pick up some Chinese food. You must be starving. I called an order in so we should only be about 30 minutes. Get some rest.”

“Oh, OK.”

I decide to stretch out and rest like I’m told, but about 15 minutes later I hear noises downstairs. They must have gotten some very fast service.

I get up and head downstairs to the kitchen, but no one is in there. I peek out sliding glass door to see if they’re on the patio. No one is there. I then start walking toward the living room. I still don’t see anyone.

Just as I am about to turn to walk back upstairs there’s a hand over my mouth and I feel something cold against my neck. I struggle to get away.

A man whispers in a very low and menacing voice right in my ear, “Stop moving and don’t make a sound.”

Is that the stranger? My cell phone suddenly rings. I look over at the coffee table where my phone is sitting. It’s Sir! If he’s calling that means he’s not here. We’re being robbed, or worse, he’s going to rape me.

“I’m going to release my hand, but you will do exactly as I say. Answer the phone calmly. If that’s your husband make sure he does not come home. If he does I will kill the both of you. Do you understand?”

I nod my head and whimper a yes. I reach over carefully to pick up my phone, but the man still has a knife to my throat.

“Hi,”I squeak into the phone.

“Hey, Kip, we’re going to be a little late. They messed the order up and the restaurant is really crowded. I’d say we’ll be at least 30 more minutes. You doing alright?”

“Yes, I”m fine. Don’t rush, OK? I love you.” A tear runs down my cheek. I may never talk to him again.

“I love you, too.” He hangs up. I drop the phone.

“He said he’ll be home in 30 minutes. Do anything you want to me, take anything you want, but please, please don’t hurt us. Don’t hurt him.” I start to cry.

The intruder forces me into the kitchen and sets me down on a chair. I look up and he’s wearing a black leather mask that covers most of his face leaving his eyes and mouth exposed. His eyes are dark. I gasp. There’s a duffel bag on the floor. He pulls out some rope and then takes my hands and ties them behind the chair. He pries my thighs apart and pulls my hips forward so just a small portion of my ass is on the seat. He ties my calves and ankles to the legs of the chair. He then takes out a ball gag and puts it in my mouth and secures it around my head.

He takes the tip of the blade and lightly runs it down my left cheek. My eyes widen in fear. He then slowly runs the blade down the left side of my neck to the center of my chest between my breasts. He stops and very delicately he carves a tiny x and then leans in and kisses the spot. He leans back to look at what he did and smiles. I am frozen. He takes the knife and slides the blade across to my right breast and then takes the point and lightly pushes it into my nipple. I inhale sharply. He then does the same thing to my left side. Then the intruder leans in close to my right breast. I feel his hot breath on my skin. He kisses my nipple and then takes it in his mouth and sucks hard. He then starts nibbling and then biting harder and then kissing and sucking again. I squirm in my chair. I don’t want this. I want this. He switches sides and begins the same ministrations. I fight back my feelings even though I feel desire building. No, please, stop it. Please, please, keep going.

I am breathing hard and I’m starting to drool. My head is spinning. I squeeze my eyes shut, but then feel the cool of the blade sweeping up from the sole of my left foot up the inside of my calf and then my up my thigh. He stops and then I feel the tip of the blade on my clit. Every muscle is locked. I don’t dare move. He presses the blade in just a fraction. Tears are welling up in my eyes. He holds the tip of the blade precariously on my clit and then brings his tongue to the spot just under and begins to swirl his tongue. I let out a whimper. He’s very light and delicate. I feel nothing except that spot. I am throbbing. He stops and I let out a groan.

He sets the knife on the table and reaches into his bag and takes out a leather crop and strikes the palm of his hand with it. I jerk at the sound. He strikes each of my nipples and then does it again, but much harder the second time. He strikes them again and again, each one harder. He then does another series of strikes and each one is harder still. I start wincing. Then he begins to slap my pussy with the crop, but he doesn’t stop and gives me slap after slap after slap without stopping, right on my clit, over and over in quick hard strikes.

I hear keys in the door. He stops and looks in the direction of the door. I start trying to pull from my restraints. I am frantic. Sir calls for me. The intruder picks up the knife and his bag, opens the sliding glass door in the kitchen, and runs away.

To be continued…

Over The Edge – Part 2

Over The Edge, Part 1

He moves the chair up in front of the fireplace and takes a seat.

“Touch yourself.”

I slowly bring my hand down to my very needy pussy. I know I need to please him. I begin to tease myself, but it doesn’t take much as I’m already so aroused. My fingers work their way between my engorged folds and I feel how very slick I am. I begin to circle my clit over and over. His eyes are fixated on me and I can’t take mine off of his. I can see the flames from the fireplace blazing behind him. This is going to be both heaven and hell.

I slide a finger inside my wet cunt and then a second one. I begin to finger fuck myself hard and fast. I’m so close, but I try to hang on. I start going back and forth between rubbing my clit and finger fucking my pussy. I’m throbbing with the need to release.

“Please, Sir, may I cum,” I rasp. He does not answer. I already know the answer, but I know I have to keep going.

Then he calmly says, “Stop.” I stop, but my head is spinning. My fingers remain inside of me. I’m afraid that just by the simple act of pulling them out it will make me cum.

“Crawl over to me.” I reluctantly pull my fingers out, but before I start crawling I lick my fingers clean.

“Very good,” he says with his left eyebrow raised in amusement.

I crawl to him and kneel at his feet. He lifts my chin with his left finger and then traces the outline of my lips with his thumb. I absolutely love when he does that because it always means I’ve pleased him.

“Is your dirty mouth ready.”

“Yes, my dirty mouth is always ready for you.”

He reaches into his pants pocket and takes out a black scarf. He ties it around my head and I cannot see a thing. I hear him adjusting in his seat.

“Arch your back and stick your ass high in the air.” I do exactly as he says.

“Trust me,” he whispers in my ear.

He grabs my hair and wraps it around his fist. Mmm I love when he does that. I open my mouth to take in his cock when I hear someone moving behind me. My instinct is to turn and look, but I can’t move my head because he’s gripping my hair so tightly.

I feel a pair of hands rubbing my back and then move around down the sides of my hips and then across my ass. Then I feel a hand slide between my legs and start rubbing my even needier wet cunt. Then I feel another hand reaching around and starts playing with my tits. I let out a deep, guttural moan.

“That’s it, my sexy girl, I know you really want this. Your mouth and ass belong to me, but I gave him your pussy and your tits to do with as he pleases. Do you understand.” I nod my head.

He takes my head and guides my mouth down onto his rigid cock. I’m lost in the sensations of taking all of him in my mouth and the slow, sensual exploration of my pussy and tits coming from the stranger behind me.

“Suck me good and then I’m going to watch him fuck you hard and deep. Remember my rules. You are not allowed to cum.”

I worship his cock, licking and sucking every inch of him, my hair still wrapped around his fist. He moans in pleasure then he starts quickly moving my head up and down his shaft. At that same moment I feel fingers enter my pussy and move just as fast into me. Then he growls and explodes into my mouth and down my throat. I smile as I slide my mouth off him, licking and kissing him with joy.

“Thank you, Sir, for letting me worship you.”

The stranger behind me moves away and tells me to stand up. I do not recognize his voice. He guides me and bends me over the chair my Sir was just sitting in. He removes the scarf from around my eyes and I see my Sir standing in front of me. He smiles and my heart swells. The stranger tells me to not turn around. He tells me to put my hands behind my back and uses the scarf to tie my wrists together. He kicks my feet apart to spread my legs wide.

“Look straight at me, kippy. I want to see the pleasure on your face. I bite my lip. This is a present for you, but it’s not your reward. You only get your reward if you don’t cum until tomorrow night.”

I feel the tip of the stranger’s cock rubbing my pussy lips. He tells me to relax and he starts to slide inside me. My eyes widen as I realize that the stranger is extremely large. My Sir nods his head and I breath and relax. The stranger moves in more and I feel myself stretching to accommodate him. Inch by inch he goes deeper.

“You are a tight little thing. I’m going to make you very sore so you know I was here.”

My Sir winks at me and I shudder. The look on his face is different than anything I’ve ever seen. I am lost in my Sir’s look. The stranger pushes in one more time.

“I knew you could take all of me.”

“Fuck her hard. I want to hear her scream, ” Sir barks out.

The stranger starts pumping in and out of me and it is my undoing. I am overwhelmed, my orgasm starts building.

I cry out in desperation, “Please, Sir, may I please cum.” No answer. I start screaming and crying. It’s too much. He rams into me harder and faster. My whole body is shaking. “Please, please, Sir.” Sir only smiles a wicked smile. The stranger grabs my hair and pulls my head back. It’s everything I can do to hold back my orgasm.

Sir almost laughs, “Tell him what you think of his big cock.”

I truthfully I burst out, “I love having your big cock inside me so much. Fuck me harder. Please fuck me harder.”

“You greedy little slut,” the stranger laughs.

I want to cum. I need to cum. “Please Sir, can I cum? His cock is too good.”

Tears are rolling down my cheeks. My Sir is still smiling at me. The stranger is relentlessly fucking me and groaning. I am crying and moaning.

The stranger pulls out of me and releases himself on my back. I collapse on the chair. I’m still crying and moaning. My entire body hurts. My wrists are untied and massaged, my back wiped with a towel. The stranger pulls my head up by my hair and then ties the scarf around my head, leaving me sightless once more.

The stranger then tells me, “We’re not done with you yet. This was a warm up, slut.”

To be continued…

Over The Edge – Part 1

“Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“This won’t be an easy weekend for you, but if you’re a good girl you’ll be rewarded.”

“Yes, Sir, I’ll make you proud.”

“I know you will. I’ll be texting you instructions.” My heart begins beating fast at his words and a big smile spreads across my face.

Just a short time later a text came through.

“Prepare yourself for me.I want a natural look.”

I knew exactly what he wanted – completely naked, no make up, no jewelry, long wavy hair, the fragrance he loves.

I prepare myself as instructed and wait. I receive another text.

“Stand in front of the fireplace with your hands on the mantle, spread your legs wide and get up on your toes. I’ll be home in 5 min.”

I stand up on my toes and wait. I try to keep my composure. He enters the room without a word. He sits in the chair to the right side of me and begins to casually eat and watch me. He doesn’t speak. His eyes bore into me and my legs begin to quake from the weight of his gaze. I am still on my toes, but I can’t hold out much longer.

He gets up and walks toward me ever so slowly. I feel the electricity and heat between us. He stands next to me just mere inches away, but still doesn’t speak. I know he wants me to look elegant and graceful. He takes his finger and gently traces it up and down my spine and then starts to gently bite on my right ear. My head starts to swim and my pussy begins to pulse. He knows my special spot all too well. He knows how to tease me.

He whispers in my ear, “Relax your grip, your knuckles are white. I release.

“Good. Now, don’t move. I’m going to touch you everywhere.”

He stands behind me and begins to run this fingers through my hair and starts to kiss and lick my neck and ear. That spot, yes, that spot! His hands make their way to my shoulders and up and down my arms raising goosebumps everywhere and my nipples harden. He keeps kissing and licking and runs his hands and fingertips down to the curve of my waist. He keeps going lower and kisses my shoulders as he goes. He continues down my back kissing and licking. He doesn’t touch my tits and a longing moan escapes my lips.

“Hush, not a sound.”

He keeps going lower down my body, down each leg and then back up touching and kissing and licking and stroking everywhere, but he’s careful to not touch my tits or my pussy.

“Very good. Come down off your toes.” I immediately lower my heels.

“You will be fucked over and over until tomorrow night, but you’re not allowed to cum. I am going to push you because I need you ready. I want to hear you beg. I want to hear you scream for it, but remember you will be denied until the time is right. Do this for me, like the good girl I know you are, and you will be rewarded tomorrow night.”

I whisper, “Yes, Sir.”

With that he grabs a fistful of my hair and kisses me hard and deep. His tongue swirls with mine and I’m lost in him. He pulls his mouth away and then throws me down to the floor.

“Spread your legs for me now.”

I open my legs wide and my eyes lock on his. His face changes and his eyes narrow. The corners of his mouth turn up slightly. I am his.

To be continued…

Thank You D/s Family

Thank you all, our beautiful and wonderful D/s friends, for supporting us during this difficult time. You have all been a light in the darkness. You have been kind, caring, and helpful. I love you guys because you help me see the good and laugh through the pain. You have hearts of gold! There are so many hard life decisions going on right now, but we are getting through them day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. You have all made that possible.

My father in law was moved to hospice last night, but late this morning we were called to come in right away. His breathing was inconsistent and they believe he doesn’t have long. He has numerous health issues and his 87 year old frail body cannot heal. He’s in an acute state so we are in a holding pattern waiting for his imminent death. We brought the children so they could say goodbye to their grandfather and we let him know we forgave him. I told my father in law in front of my husband that I was thankful for the fact that my husband was his son. My husband and Sir exists because of this man and it is the best gift I ever received.

Going through his affairs these last couple of weeks have revealed many secrets. Disclosure between my husband and his sister have revealed opposing stories given to them. We didn’t even know we needed to forgive this man, but found out about orchestrated situations that worked against us for the last 25 years. Everyday there was a new bombshell. That being said, we forgave because forgiveness is for the living. Unforgiveness eats away at your heart and soul and makes it hard to extend love and allow love to enter. We choose to not live in unforgiveness and will lay an axe to any root of bitterness that would attempt to take hold. We choose to not let anger get a choke hold and hang on to the past. We have so much life to live and we want to live it well. I hope you do the same.

The truth really will set you free. Be honest and even if you fuck up royally, own it! You’ll be surprised how people will appreciate your commitment to respect them by just telling the truth of your indiscretion, error, or even blatant misdeed. Live and deal with the consequences of your actions without blaming the world for your problems.

D/s is about living a life of truth and honor and we are so thankful to have this lifestyle. This is the only life you have so make it count and make it a good one. Be good to each other and never take those you love for granted.

Therapy Spanking

I’m not talking about Domestic Discipline, Take in Hand, punishment, or an erotic prelude. I’m talking about spanking as a means of catharsis, healing, and stress relief.

Last week I received a spanking that helped me connect and center myself. It calmed me and put my mind at ease. It had nothing to do with showing me who’s in charge, correcting an action, or as a start to some playtime. The spanking was a way for us to draw closer on a primal level. We often ignore that side of ourselves and label it dark and dirty. Your primal self doesn’t mean evil and it doesn’t mean uncivilized, either. Your primal instincts are purely about feelings on the most basic level and not disguising all of your feelings with years of layers designed to keep people from seeing your core. The problem occurs when we cannot even see our own core anymore. We lose sight of who we really are, and most times, before we ever find out in the first place.

I have come to realize that spanking immediately opens me up and helps me think about what lives inside me and my deepest, darkest desires. Bringing your desires into the light isn’t about turning something bad into something good (what we think is bad can easily be imposed restrictions based on fear) or even about being able to see everything clearly (although that is certainly part of it). Admitting your darkest desires just means you can truly live with yourself.

Back to therapy spanking…

Frequent non-sexual spanking are one of my darkest desires…

To have genuine and complete catharsis…

To release…

To be vulnerable…

To trust…

To connect…

To be free.

Further Sources:

http://www.spankingforwellness.com/Services.html

http://voiceinthecorner.com/2010/03/30/spanking-as-therapy/